update.

to live is the rarest thing
most people only exsist

speak to me; tell me something so typical.
a lullaby or something miserable.

it's possible to forget how alive we really are. we can become dry and tired, just existing instead of really living. we need to remind ourselves of the juice of life, and make that a habit. find those places inside that jump for joy, and do things that bring out your best, most magic self.

"more and more, it feels like i'm doing
a really bad impersonation of myself."

a person is never as quiet or unrestrained as they seem, as bad or as good, as vulnerable or as strong, as sweet or as fiesty. we are thickly layered, page lying upon page, behind simple covers. and love; it's not the book itself, but the binding. it can rip us apart or hold us together.

& i'm flawed,
but i'm cleaning up so well.
i am seeing in me now
the things you swore you saw yourself.

oh, looks who's decided
to be my friend today.

Runaway, runaway
And make tomorrow
Harder to live than today.

cmt & sub, thanks.

update.

"if you don't like what you're getting,
change what you're doing."

do more than talk,
say something.

everything's changed, nothings the same.

wherever you go, no matter what weather,
always bring your own sunshine.

forgive all who offended you. not for them,
but for yourself.

i don't need to fight to prove i'm right.
i don't need to be believed in.

childhood is the state which ends
the moment a puddle is first viewed
as an obstacle instead of an oppurtunity.

i myself am made entirely of flaws,
stitched together with good intentions.

it's the simple things in life that turn
the peasants into leaders, and we
all know the differences between
the walkers and the sleepers.

so obviously desperate,
so desperatly obvious.

cmt. sub.

update.

when you sleep, where do your fingers go?
do they tremble on the edge of the bed, or
do you fold them neatly by your head? do
they clench like claws against your skin
when you're living your day all over again?

got your suitcase, got your leaving smile.
i could say that's the way it goes,
i could pretend and you won't know
that i was crying.

i don't think about black in terms of grey,
or relevations in the light of day.
i don't think about cold in terms of ice,
or second chances happening twice.

a shot to kill the pain, a pill to drain the shame,
a purge to stop the gain, a cut to break the vein,
a smoke to ease the crave, a drink to win the game;
an addiction's an addiction because it always
hurts the same.

sometimes when we think
we are keeping a secret,
that secret is actually
keeping us.
++Frank Warren

cover your ears, honey,
because the magazines and the celebrities scream,
"You'll never be good enough."
And if you hear their lies too many times,
they won't be lies anymore.

congratulations kid,
you got to her.

why is it that people have to die
in order to show us how important life is?

all my life, i have felt like there was some part of me missing, and i felt that everyone could tell. like there was some hole in me, and everyone could see throught it; like i wasn't finished or something.

i've got this knack for not being honest with myself.

ohboy, i never update anymoree. i'll try to moreee. i'm sooorry.
but i'm not updating today, cause it's my birthdayyyy!
sweet sixteen.