To Everybody's Favourite Korean

So, we surprised a certain idiot on the eve of her birthday two weeks ago :)

Were greeted by the menacing barks of this terrifying guard dog -



- and the ear-splitting shrieks of the speshiow garlgarl~ (.) (.)
Sorry couldn't resist.

Happy Belated Birthday Ivy PSK Faggot Whale :)
It's been four years! You have got to stop the incessant screaming, stupid accents and hobo-ing off other people. Sixteen-year-olds do not constantly ask their friends to tell them fairytales and get toilet paper stuck all over their bodies whenever, wherever. And that bitchy eyebrow? Gotta go. Still think God was chuckling in glee when he put you in my class for four bloody years, but I guess we made the best of it. Thanks for always being there :) MARSHMALLOW MOCHI POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would just like to add that when Ivy blew out the candles on her cake, they fell down.

I have nothing to say because there is no need to say anything. The event speaks for itself.

Met Andie Cookie after our chocolate fix.


Frolick the other other day

 

My dad's been underperforming on the mooncake front this year (to mixed feelings of relief/ puzzlement/ loss). Why, daddy, why? What happened to the compulsive desire to buy so many mooncakes that even a picture of one turns every member of the household nauseous? This is very unacceptable. Unacceptable!

Things I need to do soon
1. Not eat at Sushi Tei for two weeks
2. Explore the cafes at Upper Thomson Rd
3. Ride the Singapore Flyer with Mag
4. Study with Moony and Wormtail
5. Donate $1 to the hobo fund (he he he he)
6. Make a study timetable
7. Study study study study study study study

Care Bear Share Bear

Prelims began today.

Everybody's so obsessed with the o's now it's not even funny. Where's everybody gone? I can't even remember the last time I had a good, proper chat without the topic entering the conversation. The pace everyone else is gong at is shitass scary. No pausing. No breaks. Don't break don't break don't break. You can't afford to. Not now. Nothing seems to motivate me. Not competition, not fear... How many days are left? First it was 198, then 100, then suddenly it became 90, and 70, and 60... if I'm estimating correctly, I'd say I have about 50+ days left to d-day. And all I can do is sit here and talk about how horrible everything is now and how bloody shitty the o's are leaving me feeling.

Don't want to screw it all over upside down.

We'll be singing when we're winning (edit)

HAR-LOWWW!!!!
(emphasis placed on first syllable, say in most nasal and disgusting voice possible, retarded face optional)


(Pissing the night away)

LOST CHILD FOR SALE
Specifics: newborn female, tendency to rape strangers, v v v gay.
Likes rainbows, cupcakes, cookies.
Half Malay, half unicorn.
CALL 1800-RAPING-BABY IF INTERESTED

HOOKER FOR SALE
Specifics: prone to random outbursts and slutty speech, will crack you up all day long with stupid antics. Affinity with toilet paper.
Likes little boys and naked bunny kiddies.
Alias Fatimah bte Ahmad, married to mother Ahmad bte Khan.
CALL 1800-CRAZY-NB IF YOU HAVE SUICIDAL TENDENCIES

Friday saw us joining hands with 30 000 other volunteers (ha ha ha not amused) from Singapore in an attempt to 'connect Singapore'. Basically, we did a lot of pointless walking, portable toilet gasping, snacking, jellyfish-waving, paddling, exchanging Russian folktales, whistling, laughing at big blue mammals, camel-comparing, centipede-screaming, brudder-spotting, chocolate cream bun-vomitting, unicorn skipping, Care Bear ring-exchanging...

Puzzled as to how all the above could take place on a pavement in the middle of Singapore?

Yeah, I pretty much am, too.

Headed to town after with Andie Cookie, Whale and Deb Ovulating. Hehehehe. Sushi and pretzels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ivy and DebO came with me to the doctor. Thanks you guys. Then Ivy and I amused ourselves by waiting until big groups of people walked past us, after which we would look at Debra incredulously/amazedly/excitedly and yell "Oh my GOD!!! You're PREGNANT?!?!?!?!??!"

After the first seven groups of people stared at her disapprovingly, Deb got rather miffed.

Well anyway, Happy Belated Birthday Sg :)

Caught





Can I just say that they don't make movies like these anymore?



This was pretty solid too.

Will miss this place.

Ciao

Ps Happy Baq Tew Skool Kool Magadoodle!!

Alea iacta est

 

Over the past week I finally, finally managed to:

a) Finish watching season 8 of Friends
Instant mood-upper. God. Though I must say I have friends whose antics would put Joey/Ross to shame. Yes Bluebell/ Angelfire/ Snowball/ Autumn, I'm talking to you.

b) Fail to copy an accent
): ): ): this is seriously not my fault!! I have no idea why I cannot master the art of imitating *s. You should hear Ahmad bte Khan go. I swear. She was going on about humping and thumping in the accent at crazyass speed and Ivy and I just collapsed on the ground with laughter.

c) Hang with the Chicken Lepak Crew
Yuz couldn't mekkit :( we abandoned the original plan and went to eat sushi (sounds familiar) then frolick :) Gayness + nasalness + brainlessness + angelic goodness = extremely entertaining! Something we should do more often. Hi-five Andie way :) everybody kick the whale!

d) Catch The Dark Knight
Which, I have to say, was completely, mind-blowingly awesome. Everyone has already elaborated enough, so there's no need for me to go on. Since everybody already knows how wonderful Heath was as the Joker, I just want to say that Christian Bale has gained newfound respect from me. (still haven't finished watching 3:10 to Yuma, dammit!!)

e) LET IVY OUTWIT ME
We had this ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS video of her and the idiot stole my phone while I was sleeping and deleted it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It may not seem like a big deal, but that's just because you haven't met Ivy. If you have, you should know the girl is incapable of going through a week without getting toilet paper stuck somewhere about her person, so up till now, I have absolutely no idea of how she managed to pull this one off without any of us noticing :( CHICKENZ!!!!!!! WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU THE MOST?!

f) Get sick of chocolate
I completely blame Dayna and Penelope.

g) Meet Mag baby
Dum dum di dum dum dum dum di dum dum dum dum di dum dum dang daaaang daaaaaaang
Nobody else seems to get the humour :( BRHAZE YOOURSAAAALVESSSS

80 days CRAP IVY AND HER GAY BRA STRAP
I am hungry.

I can't avoid the lightning

What I go to school for

Been attending school more and as a result falling to pieces laughing till my head hurts. Ice-cream visits, orange bowl queues, LEPAKING (ha Debdeb!!) at random corridors with Mivio, Jo and Bangela Beng, getting screamed at, water fights, climbing up toilet cubicles, pretty sexy shapely whales, maths lessons (or not), switching seats, jumping around, random moans of pleasure, boob actions x 1000000, oral ("Eh english la what you thinking brudder!!"), J**s, M**s, P.TEO action, heaving galore, sickass pola snacks, beating photocopying woman up, Hi5 Andie Way, babycough, FRIENDS, gay bags, nicknames, squeals, Ivy+Deodorant, no fishballs, yellow noodles club, Defenestrate Chao Sng Association, love forever and ever, chickenz :)

Let's make this about school.

Various amusing events have convinced me there really is no substitute for the hysteria absolute idiots present at the place can bring. For example, we have

A, who was caught changing her shorts in class (think the dumpling of an English teacher screaming in horror and the whole class turning around only to catch said friend with pants halfway down her legs),

B, who wants to name her chilren Brother and Sister so they can call each other exactly that,

C, who has a... way with words, shall we say? and provides us with countless hours of amusement as we stare at her in horror,

D, who is sixteen but coughs/hi-fives like she should be in kindegarten,

E, who sincerely believes trees can dance,

F, who is completely Chinese yet manages to make everything that comes out of her mouth sound like Malay (think calling the home plate KAMPUNG in softball),

ALL MY FRIENDS, who seem to hump/moan/thrust the entire day through.

And on a totally unrelated note...

2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 0 = ?
2 + 3 x 0 = ?
It's easier when you write it out, all right!!

Love ya Padfoot you 2:22:21 ass! (insert Jewish song of celebration)