it was totally not a happy week for me. things pissed me off very badly. first thing I was rejected by city college when I went and tried to turn in my concurrent studen application for spring 2007. the reason for that was because I am currently enroll in the Pathway program, which is the extention of the Academy of Finance program. I had to make a decision between the classes I want to take and the class I am forced to take in order to get my academic diploma. then the next day I made a phone call to the lady whatever her name is in city college cuz I wanted to ask her if there's any solution for me. then she asked me servial questions about my willingness on continuing the CS 101 class. then I told her I want to do them both: take the saturday class and also the classes at night. she promised me that she'll talk to the counselor and will find me a solution. she also told me that she knows many students who enroll in both program. she then refered me to the head of academy in Lincoln and asked me to get the result from her in the afternoon. as I went to B8 in the afternoon, I was told that there's no way I can do them both: it's the policy of city college. then I was very pissed off because there really are some students in Lincoln doing it that way. it' just totally unfair.

I have had very bad experiences when I deal with city college. in summer 2006 I appliced and enrolled in a night class in city college. it's from 6:30 to 9:30. it had been a torture to me because i had to go to summer school to make up my literature requirement in the morning and to volunteer at CPA in the afternoon. imagine you have to suffer with boring literature classes for 5 hours from 8am to 1pm and 5 hours volunteer work from 2pm to 6pm. then there would be another 3 hours of boring calculous stuff to suffer with. however, I survived from those horrible things. but what came after was that I got neither report card or credits for that class in city college. as I went to the administrative office and asked for what I should have gotten, I was informed that that class had not been put on my record. meanwhile I had created an account with city college but I hadn't put in anything there. and there was nothing they can do, or would do about it. that is totally bs that my efforts on that class became nothing. that's the best gift i receive from city college ever.

Hmmm i am going too far. stay focus on this week. I had a very bad arguement with my mom. it really was bad that she threw things at me and yelled at me hella loud. and her words really hurt me a lot that I was crying in my room with her yelling outside and things hitting on the door. I felt helpless and defenseless. who should I defense from? the one who just said love me in the morning? the one who bought me snack in the afernoon? the one who just cooked me dinner? I was totally lost and hopeless. I was hiding in the dark closet, leaving the door locked. i didn't know how to respond, nor was to react. i cried in silence, feeling clearly my heart crumbling, falling apart, and being smashed. the only remaining thing in my mind was a sound repeatly telling me I am a nobody. a wound in my heart was bleeding. a knief went across my left arm and left some long red lines. "Pain is good." I read that in the Da Vinci Code and finally understand why. that reminded me that I am still alive, still hiding in the closet, still am nobody. the pain was what stopped me from further self-damaging. it hurted, but what's hurter is inside. a torn heart is left alone.

good kids listen and follow

some of the good kids listen carefully and follow after comprehending

I am here -->few of the good kids listen carefully and selectively follow after comprehending

the betters of the better kids listen carefully and decide to selectiviely follow after comprehending. then they pretend working and learn from other kids' mistakes and never make that mistake.

the betters of the better listen carefully and decide to selectiviely follow after comprehending. then they pretend working and learn from other kids' mistakes and never make that mistake. finally they turn to the dumb kids and help out.

the best kid never work. he commands.