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| MORE LAWS NOW!!!I am not a big government guy but since the Democratic National Convention is blowing up like a deluxe Wal-Mart pool floaty this week I thought I would add my voice to the ever growing list of new laws we need to make every American obey:
Law One: No Burger King commercials at 10:30 p.m. while I am dieting.
Law Two: Nametags for everyone, all the time. I just feel so much more peace when I am not working to remember names. And make them good ones. Not those cheapy lanyards that hang so low you have to stare at the belly button to read.
Law Three: The California state government and the Utah State government should be forced to switch places for a year - just for fun.
Law Four: Olympic handball is water polo without the water! End the crime of it!!!!
Law Five: No more wearing bluetooth headsets around all the time at the grocery store like you are a somebody cause they are not that expensive anymore and you look goofy.
Law Six: Lost has to actually give us some good answers in the first episode of the new season or the writers should be forced to star on every episodes of the final season of ER.
Law Seven: No more political conventions. Stop these propaganda piles of brain wasting-infomercials-of-deathness shows. We need to focus on the issues. Russia, Iraq and the bankrupt social security system could care less about how balloons fall from the ceiling. Please, stop the madness. George Orwell is getting seasick from spinning in his grave.
Others?
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| About JoeWe got the news at about 9:00 a.m. our time that Joe Zickafoose, our good friend and Campus Missionary to Scotland had passed away from cancer this morning.
During our time in Springfield, before they went to Scotland, Joe, Jayne, John and Andy were an almost daily part of our lives. Our boys, Jesse and John were elementary school best friends and had the same teachers from 2nd through 5th grades.
Having shared combined birthday parties for our boys and their friends, multiple rides from school and more than a few carafes of French press while our kids all worked the Game Cube in the other room, Kelly and I built a lasting friendship with Jayne and Joe.
You did not have to know him for long to learn that Joe was a man with a rare level of serious intellectual depth. What was surprising was that he was equally skilled at absurd comedy. He made me both think and laugh harder than almost anyone I know.
He was a very caring and careful father and husband. Where other fathers panicked he stayed calm. Where other men would have become distracted by job obligations or professional reputation he remained faithful to his family.
He gave students ownership. Of all the great gifts he had as a campus missionary, for me this was his greatest. He did not tell them how to think. He taught them how to think Biblically.
He never spoke down to those he taught but often challenged them up to a level they did not expect they could attain. He preached and taught the truth, even when the truth was hard.
He knew when to confront, when to pray for and when to laugh with those he mentored.
He loved good music, both listening to and making.
He did not waste his time worrying about reputation or reward but simply followed Christ wherever Christ led him.
He was that extraordinary leader who had incredible talent but very little ego. He was often the smartest, most experienced and most creative person in the room but he never needed to point this out to others.
Although I am very emotional, I am not giving into sentimentality in writing about Joe in these ways. It is not grief that makes me praise him now. The loss is only the occasion of my praise. The way he lived his life is the cause for these words and it is that life well lived will have all of us missing him for a very long time. | | |
| Suspending My BeliefAnyone can tell that Batman is Bruce Wayne just by looking at the half of his face the rubber mask does not hide. Also, no matter how genius the genius part of your evil-genius brain is, getting a couple hundred criminally insane henchmen to work together on such a multileveled master plan is less than realistic. Lastly, robbers could never get away form banks by merging their escape bus into a caravan of field trippers (didn't the other busses notice the explosions?).
None of that matters. For Dark Knight, I suspended my disbelief and consumed all of these cartoon impossibilities and more as if they were a plate of fresh sushi after a three-day fast.
I am not an easy suspender of disbelief. Usually I am that annoying guy who leans over and tells you, whether you want to know or not, exactly why a particular movie moment could never happen in real life. It is not that I enjoy being a film tattle tale (well maybe a little) it is just that most big films look like they spent $80 trillion on CGI and $4.56 on writing.
In the rare film that works I am happy to put logic on the shelf. In fact I just need two simple things from a movie to reach "works" level. Thing one: a plot that fits together (as oppose to the "we could double reverse the tachyon beam's negative particals Captain" super drivel that represents 90% of all story endings today). Thing two: great acting (instead of the humans as eye candy casting we almost always get in this post 90210 world). Dark Knight has both.
Christian Bale is ok. Even good. Wearing black rubber and talking with all base notes is not easy to pull off. However, next to Heath Ledger, Bale is cardboard. Ledger's performance is both micro perfect in a thousand little facial details and macro overwhelming because of the loose and free narcissism the flows from his Joker's every moment on screen.
What dark knight does for Ledgers is delete from our minds any thought that he was a movie star. He was, and will be now forever, an actor. A great actor. His young death made watching his complex performance an exercise in deep regret. As suspended as my disbelief was, in every scene a small part of my conscience was grieving the loss of his life and talent. He breathes, licks, philosophies, walks and talks in an acting clinic that should inspire every drama club member from San Francisco to Savannah. The fast that his performance comes to us post-life is as confusing and dark as the ethical questions raised by the movie itself.
One more thing. The acting is great in part because the dialogue is Swiss watch-esque. Super hero and epic sci-fi movies are an almost impossible challenge for dialogue writing. Their hero's declarations and villain's threats almost always slip into one dimensional Simon Lagree sounding mellow-drama.
Confronted with this challenge, some big budget movies just give up. They hope the CGI and the hunk factor of their leads will to distract us from the painfully unreal way they speak to each other on camera (hello George Lucas - are you getting this). Batman somehow pulls off the comic to real life dialogue conversation. Helped by inspired makeup, an important theme and mesmerizing performances I swallowed ever word, no matter how caped, masked and detonated.
For these reason and more, I will watch it again and I never watch them again.
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| Adventure in the iPhone LineI have been a part of the "mock the people sleeping outside overnight for halo" class of social critics since the first Dreamcast lines formed. All that changed yesterday.
At first I decided to stand in the Apple store line only while I ate my lunch - to see how fast it moved, as it were. The end started at Stride Rite (for those who do not know the Arden Fair mall in Sacramento, that is literally 678,943 miles from the Apple store). There seemed no harm in hanging with it for a few moments but before I knew it those few moments turned into 6 hours, 7 new friends, one California roll (with bladder busting mega large diet coke as chaser), a piece of bad pizza, onion rings (queuing is hungry work) and one new 16 gig, black iPhone.
I held last place in the line of death for over 15 minutes until an 18-year-old girl in huge sunglasses operating on "three hours of sleep after half a bottle of Smirnoff" took the spot behind me. A middle aged lady stood behind us for about two minutes and then came to her senses. After her, three 18-year-old guys, freshly out of high school, lined up next. One a beat boxer, one a cello playing home schooler and the last a very outgoing young man who works at a waterslide. Just in front of us were a gal lifeguard (yeah two lifeguards - how strange) with her boyfriend, and a middle-aged businessman with a beat up treo 650 and a BMW key ring. Later, a brother of one of the HS grads joined us. Amazingly he already had a first generation iPhone (he hacked it to use with Tmobile) and stood for 5 plus hours just to support his friends.
Sure, our cult-like lust for iPhone joy was the core of our relationship but it was not just the iPhone at work over the 360 minutes of bonding. It was the experience of fighting together. Solving the hunger issue (we left in shifts to get food), finding the nearest restroom, (we were lucky, one guy in our group had the mall restroom schematic practically memorized,) and fighting off mockers all cemented our cadre.
Yes, mockers. Berating is not too strong of a word for these line haters. Apparently, for some, (and I included myself in that "some" before yesterday,) standing in line for an iPhone (halo, wii, etc. etc.) is the equivalent of stabbing yourself in the ear. Not only were they righteously sure of this position, they were not shy about preaching their convictions to our captive line ears.
Not all lectured. Most just communicated their scorn via a sassy look as they walked by. Some used passive aggressive questions - "so you guys are in this line because they won't have these phone things next week?" Others, all of them male by the way, felt compelled to approach the line and give detailed verbal slaps about why we were fools to wait in line for the iPhone.
As they pontificated, I wondered if this is what most preachers sounded like to the non-religious.
It was not just strangers that tried to discourage us. I literally saw three large groups of my friends, including people from other states, who openly tried to convince me to leave the line. I was actively and personally mocked by:
• Two pastors
• 10 or more twenty-something Christians
• Some small children
• My wife
We fought back. Three hours in, after being asked for the 1 millionth time why we were in line, Waterslide guy proclaimed loudly "WE ARE HERE FOR THE MOTO RAZOR FOUR - YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, HELLO MOTO BABY!!!"
The height of irony was that after telling us we were wasting our time most of them spent their precious life milling around Bath and Body Works.
It did not come out that I was a pastor until hour four. When it did the relationships were strong enough to avoid the usual awkward silence that follows this religious revelation. The brothers, I discovered, both had strong roots in the Disciples of Christ. Waterpark apologized for his language. When I told him it was ok, he continued to use the adjective of his choice without shame.
At hour five, tired, greasy and unashamed about owning the floor as our resting place we hit nirvana. The conversation bobbed like a well heated lava lamp. We moved inch by inch with the grizzly floor assurance deep in the soul that we were in the right. All doubt had left. We reached that place few humans experience. Sold-out-ness. The long journey from Stride Rite to Pac Sun was meant to be. We knew now the black Apple store was within our reach. There was not a single thought of turning back.
Just about then, the Apple employees emerged with free pizza. Even though it was only one piece of cardboard and cheese per line dweller, we held our slice high in victory. It was to us pirate treasure won by sweat and sword. All double dipped in the communal garlic and melted butter packet - no one even flinched. We were family - bonded beyond the fear of germs.
As the actual store loomed right before us, the line's own life force grew hulkishly strong. A long line, like a road trip, prison cell, camping tent, or foxhole can bond even the most diverse group. From age 18 to 50, partiers to pastor - we talked, laughed, debated and became something more then just iPhone customers.
We deeply discussed which cell phone we hated (sorry Treos, you did not fair well this day), why we were in line now (most of us had broken phones in our pockets), travel, classical music, marijuana, evolution, the benefits of parties on boats, fake I.D.s, pay rates for city lifeguards vs. waterpark lifeguards, the effect of little sleep and Smirnoff, youtube (of course), hacking iPhones, theology and getting around ATT's upgrade requirements (open the account on your dad's account and then switch it over to yours later was the word,) among many other topics.
I am not insolated from the average person in my community, church going or not. I have many non-believers in my house, almost every week. I have often lectured others in the church about being too insular. I thought I was doing ok on this issue. After 6 hours in the line, I am ashamed to admit how much I learned about my own Christian buble tendencies. The experience has exposed me.
I wonder what would happen if every pastor was required to spend six hours on a Saturday with a random group of mostly teens and twenties? These people who were strategy and theory to me are all now real. Their lives, wants and attitudes will impact how I think about doing ministry for a long time.
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| From the Mouth of EmmaThe fun that roles off Emma's tongue is non-stop. This week it has been so entertaining that we have to write some of it down. Enjoy.
Emma, "Let's use that YouTube thing today"
Translation, "Let's film ourselves with a digital video camera."
Emma, "My head's all full of that ancient stuff."
Translation "I watch the history channel a lot."
Emma, "I want a hundred bills"
Translation, "I require a lot of money."
Emma, "Sometimes I don't know half myself."
Translation, "Give me some grace. I am not always aware of when I am misbehaving."
Emma, "Honey comes from Bee-Barf-itt."
Translation, "Bees make honey by barfing combined with vomiting."
Emma "I'm a mini-missionary."
Translation, "I have never met a stranger and love to tell people about God."
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