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Name: Ryan
Country: Canada
Metro: Vancouver
Gender: Male


Interests: Reading, Sleeping, Wakeboarding, Working out, COFFEE...
Expertise: Camp Qwanoes... just ask...
Occupation: Administrative


Message: message meEmail: email me
MSN: jeep_trooper@hotmail.com


Member Since: 1/31/2006

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Friday, September 28, 2007

Currently Listening
Gotta Get Thru This
By Daniel Bedingfield
If your'e not the one
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Officially Facebooked

 So I think Facebook has taken over from Xanga for me... although I will post on here somewhat irregularly...

I had a great talk with my sister last night.  Sometimes I think God really knew what he was doing when he put us in the same family!  She is pretty much amazing.  God has gifted her in incredible ways...  As blunt as she is, it's exactly what I need at certain points in my life.

As some know I have been considering going back to school in Sept 2008 to do up my BA and finish a Teaching Degree...  I think its time to say goodbye to camp and walk into a new chapter in my life. A new chapter filled with some old stories... Back to Cactus (cause where else can I make that kind of cash in that short of time legally and morally), back to Harbour Dance (cause I need some sort of outlet), back to living downtown (cause let's face it...it's just too convenient)... and back to real days off.  But the story is I am looking at going to SFU in Sept. 2008 and doing up this degree thing which means another 3 years in school... but more likely 5 years in school at a slower pace (so that I can work, go to school and live all at the same time).  Team Seattle

The worst part of it is moving and leaving behind things that I have started.  I really do love camp, but I think I need to get moving in another direction.

My sister mentioned that my life is a dichotomy of two lives (Camp Ryan and City Ryan)... and really the two have a hard time co-existing.  So the new Ryan.... the real Ryan is about to be discovered... in which I am sure there will be elements of both Camp and City Ryan's.  To be honest...change scares me.  And maybe that is why it has taken me so long to move on.  kratcel

I also am so thankful for my friends and family... who have put up with me... listened to me and shared life with me... God placed you in my life and I am so blessed... PS... Keira.. your' da bomb!

Life is weird.!. It's my 10 year reunion this year...yikes!


Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Currently Listening
Fool in Me
Laurell Hubick -A Dream
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camp 360 024

This week has been a blessing...

I know change is coming.

Yesterday was a great day.

Today has been a hard day.

Why do I get wrapped up in little things...?


Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Currently Listening
The Walk
By Hanson
Go
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When life brings you choices how do you decide which direction to go?  Life is always full of options but more often than not we are pushed to make changes whether those motivations be positive or negative they are what prompt us to make that particular choice and change.

I am currently in one of those positions.  I have a number of options ahead of me.  Some more appealing than others...some more selfish than others.  I could also stay where I am.  So is there really a decision that needs to be made?  Yes.  In my current state, though I love the place where I work I do not particularly find joy in what I am doing here.  Don't get me wrong... there are many aspects to this role that I love.  But in the end there is a lack of joy.  This could be the role itself, or it could be that there is a change needed in my life.  I guess that is what I am attempting to determine right now.  Is it simply that this role does not fit my particular giftings and abilities, is it that I am just tired and need a break, is it that it is time for me to move on from camp?  This last thought is one that haunts me.  I love camp!  I love being a part of it.  But is that enough?  No.  I think there needs to be a definite calling of the Spirit to work at camp.  I have known that calling and I have followed that calling - now however, I am unsure whether or not that calling has ended or if I have lost focus and am feeling a need for change. 

I know we all wish sometimes that God would write us a letter, give us a call or email us exactly what to do next.  That's how I feel today.  I just wish I knew.  Because I can't keep walking the road I am on now without some sense of hope or promise that things will get better or at least that the joy will return. 

I think part of the problem is that I am in a constant struggle with personal issues in the midst of everything else that is going on.  I know that this is not the end of the world and that whatever decision is made will not be the last I will have to make.  I also know that there are others out there that have greater problems than I..... Life.... it is a peculiar thing. Wish I could see the big picture.

PS... An incredible friend shared some insights into living life and at the same time parts of the new Hanson CD....  I liked them back in the day... I really appreciate them now!  Thanks Friend!  luv ya!


Friday, July 27, 2007

Currently Listening
Plans
By Death Cab for Cutie
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Life is a journey...  This has been one of the most difficult summers for me in a long time!  Camp is amazing... the staff are amazing... God is amazing... It's me.  I'm completely destroyed and messed up.  But life goes on and I keep on walking. I am so thankful for those that come alongside and encourge, pray and exhort.  I love you!

me7

I often find myself swept downstream by the song's aweful power humming along to its prevailing tone: PAIN; but I also seek to express the whole journey.  These brief moments of sight.  These points of clarity, these expressions of hope, deliverance and the upward struggle of the searching soul.  I point with my broken fingers toward the only safety I know - greater love hath no man than he...


Saturday, July 14, 2007

Currently Listening
Monkey Business
By Black Eyed Peas
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So basically I never write on this thing anymore... because facebook has taken over... but...

Every once in a while I think I will send out a little note as to where I am at.

This year has been one of transition...   I am currently in a place where I am wondering if I am to move on from camp... not that I know what I would move into.  I was hoping that Camp would be a long term occassion...but it is seemingly becoming less so.  Was it that I need to get "camp" out of my system before I could pursue anything else?  OR am I just so fickle and uncommitted that I become discontent way to easily?  The wierd thing is that I love Camp!  There is no doubt there! I love Qwanoes and everything that God does here... I love the way God works in and through me in the lives of campers and staff... I love the times I have to play and being able to recruit for a ministry I truly believe in... So why do I feel drawn away?  and to nothing specific?  Sure I have ideas of what I could do... but nothing is concrete... I just don't get it.  I think the best emotion to describe my circumstance is a mixture of frustration and wonder... is that possible?

So yeah.. that's me.



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