Today's not just the day of Olympic opening ceremony. It is also the day that marked the bloodshed of many Burmese people who wanted their beloved country to be free and democratic.

I'm not sure that I believe in such a thing called "love" anymore.

Or is it that I don't want to believe because I feel disappointed that the way I had pictured "love" is not the same as I see in real life.....

I used to be very submissive when it came to that thing called "love". But lately, I feel like it's such a waste. You love someone with all your heart, but he doesn't return it. At first, you think like, "It's ok.. He doesn't have to love me back. As long as I love him, it's ok." Later, you start to feel like, "What's the point of loving someone who doesn't appreciate your love?" I feel like I'm wasting my time being in love with someone who'll never feel the same way for you. Have I become so selfish that I only think about myself and only about myself? I am scared that I am becoming like that.

I tend to be very cautious when it comes to love. I don't want to get hurt anymore, so I'm always worried that I'll get hurt. I also tend to be suspicious too. I tell myself all the time not to get worried too much.. not to be suspicious too much, but it's like a nagging feeling inside of me... He may just be busy with work, and doesn't have time for me recently, but I start to feel like he's losing interest in me. I know that it's not good to be this way, but I can't help myself. And being one who can't contain her feelings inside, I asked him out loud. And he said, "You don't understand me." I felt like a villain. So I apologized to him.

But I won't express all my love to him anymore. I don't want to suffocate him with my possessiveness and attachment.

Sorry.. I had to blog about this.

I was reading forum today, and in one of the topic (called "Off-topic"), someone I knew posted a screen-shot of my site:


and commented: "I don't know what she's writing in her blog. (Just kidding!)"

Why does that happen? hehe.. I didn't even write anything relating to porn anywhere in my blog. (I think.. :P) Oh yeah.. there was one time I wrote about a (so-called) s@x movie of a Burmese actress, and it not being true. (Oh yeah.. lots of Google Searches ended up at my site after that). And 2nd time was I wrote about Justin Timberlake's album. Could it be the reason? lolz

Another weird thing is I just viewed my site, but I don't see any Google ad at all. Could it be because I was logged in? Or maybe because I was viewing websites with proxy bypassing software? And I just saw a Chinese ad instead.

And Soju: no.. I'm not angry.. hehe.. I was going to write a proper reply to it, but I didn't want to post today (I wrote it but I deleted) because I wanted to keep my amount of posts no. as 1000, for a reason just for today. But that doesn't mean I won't bash you when I see you in chat. =P