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| TiredI have a couple updates but that'll have to wait for my next blog when I have time for it. Tryna make this short so I can go to sleep soon. I've been hella busy. So when I'm not at school or work, I'm with Allister most of the time. And most of the time that we're together, we study together. Hella school-oriented right now. In trig, we had our first test and shit was only 10 problems hella easy. I think I was the first one to finish after about half an hour. Ugh, I'm wasting time... I shouldn't be in that class and learning that material that I've learned sophomore year of high school. Idk, placement tests aren't my friends =/
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| Busy beeI've been so busy lately! So the past week, I've been working quite a lot. I had work everyday except Wednesday and Friday and had 30 hours. It was cool; it kept myself busy. When I wasnt working, I'd be out with people. However, now that school has started, I don't think it will be good for me esp. when I'm gonna be getting 26 hours a week. I only have one day off this week and it was today. Last week's hours are already taking a toll on me cause I've been hellla tired lately. But then it's sorta my fault for going out when I should be resting. Idk, we'll see how it goes for a couple weeks and if I can't handle it then I'll cut my hours. It seems so doable though!
I gotta talk about last Wednesday. I loved it. It was one of my 2 days off last week and so my boyfriend decides to take me to SF after he got out of class. He took me to Twin Peaks for the beautiful view then we went to Fisherman's Wharf for lunch and Ghiradelli's for dessert. Went around the pier for a bit and then he took me home. I fucking love it though. & I love it when we sing Hot n' Cold together in his car cause he tries to sing like Katy Perry... its cute hahaha I'm his princess cause "baby, you can have whatever you like" hahaha so I've been spoiled a bit =X
And I fucking miss Karen Aquino! Hopefully I can come down to Santa Barbara with hella heads for Halloween!
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| On, off, on, off, on againSo the past couple of weeks have sorta been eventful. He broke up with me and I was really sad. It wasn't like how it was with my ex #1 though but I was sad. We didn't see or talk to each other for a while. And then we started hanging out again which wasn't that awkward but it was hard for me. I still had those feelings for him and it was hard hearing stuff from his best friend and his sisters about how he misses me and how he looks at me when I'm not looking or when I'm walking in front. It hurt when we'd hug each other goodbye and I'd just want to hold on for a little longer and it esp. hurt the time when I was at his house hanging out with his sisters. I knew he had work and I wasn't expecting him but he came home for a quick sec for his lunch break. When he came home, he hugged and kissed his sisters and then he came over to me and hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. It hurt when he left me with a quick hug cause I knew that he simply forgot and that the kiss was a mistake in the first place. Welllll, the chemistry was definitely still there. Yesterday, he took me to Hunter's Pt at night. Our favorite time to go there cause it's dark and you get a perfect overlook of the city and its lights. It took a lil while before we got on the subject of our breakup. Not gonna say everything cause it was a long conversation but this was cute...
him: "Don't you realize though? That I feel like a fool? Tryna dress up when I'm missing you?"
me: "Omg shut up! I can't believe you! You're a jerk, that was the song I listened to after you broke up with me. hahah"
him: "hahaha I do miss you though."
And then there was this whole conversation of how he missed me and how things were and how he wanted me back. A lot of you are gonna call me stupid but Idc, I missed him too. We're back together. I've already talked to everyone whose opinions matter to me, except my family. Not that they would've altered my decision cause I've never been the one to not go after what I want just cause of what someone else thinks. It's good to know though that even though some think it's a bad idea, they got my back no matter what. And to those that want to keep talking shit or whatever, remember... the decision is ultimately mine and it's my life so let me live it how I want to live it.
And to that crazy psycho bitch, please stop what you're tryna do. It makes you look like a fool because you guys weren't even talking talking so how are you going to try to have people keep an eye out for him and restrict him? And stop saying shit about me cause i swear one more thing out of your mouth and ima tell you straight up on how it is. I'll say this that it's sad how you have to change yourself to be similar to me to have him like you. And for you to say shit like what's wrong with him and "isn't this how Julie acts around you guys?" Nooooo, we are two verrry different people. Even if you guys got together, jealousy, restriction, and plain psycho-ness scares him. You weren't and aren't able to do a lot of things for him either. Would you have been able to go out on dates with him? Would you be able to always be there for him, emotionally and physically? Would you be there to honk his horn for him when a dumb bitch cuts him off? Would you have been able to feed him when he's hungry? Buy him a #1 at in-n-out with an extra double-double? Or stop by his house late at night to bring him food? Would you be able to come to his house in the mornings just to watch the food channel with him and not be grossed out while he's wearing nothing but his cute, washed out boxers with little cars printed on them? I'm his downass bitch and his ass is mine ever since April 17th, when we signed each others' asses.
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| When you say stuff like how you've missed me and how it feels nice to be able to chill again, I understand that you've missed me as a friend. But when I tell you that I've missed you, I mean it in a different way. It's a bad thing that I even hang out with you again but shit, I've missed you sooo much. It sucks how I often times look in the distance, afraid that if I take too many glances of you, you'll notice. It still hurts... like when you jokingly ask me where I got the necklace you got me that I still wear.
And then there's this other thing where my mom's being a fucking crazy psycho bitch. She keeps bringing up the same shit over and over and over again. It's so fucking frustrating and annoying. Like earlier, I was just tryna find something to eat and then she suddenly brings this shit up about falling in love. I swear she's so fucking superficial and shallow. I don't even wanna come home cause of her. I talk to my dad about my shit and its cool cause he listens and gives advice but then he goes and tells my mom and thats how her crazyass finds out about my shit so then she says the most ridiculous shit to me ever. I'm rly stubborn so our conversations about that kind of stuff always ends up really bad. FUCK, I'm soooooo frustrated!!!!
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| Hurting...My heart was way more into our relationship than his, I guess. It sucks and it hurts. Even though I'm doing hella better than how I was the first time, I do miss him a lot deep down inside. I've been out so much and I have been having a lot of fun with the family and friends but he's always in the back of my mind and I get sad at random times of the day.
I went to SF today with my cousins, brother, and Tim. We went to Union Square, Filmore, and Haight Ashbury. Afterwards, I was supposed to go to Amanda's goodbye shindig but it was done with and they were gonna watch a movie but I decided to go to Boomer's goodbye thing instead. Kicked it at Homestead Lanes with Fitz, Leroy, Dean, Ben, Maricris, Karena, Keith, Boomer, Sean, and Chris. A couple of us went to Taco Bell afterwards to eat but Sean and I were on the involuntary lovesick diet haha. Had some really good heartwarming moments with the guys. Sean and I decided to go to Mychael's after to chill with him for a bit. I'm so glad that Sean and I are talking again cause he's such a good listener. We were hella having deep conversations today about relationships and guys/girls. Before, me and him weren't talking at all cause of stupid shit but after what happened, Sean texted me to see if I was okay and then we started talking and hanging out again. Good thing cause I hella missed my Seany boy lovecakes <3
"only cause I wuvs you"
"I wuvs you more nigga -_-"
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