God's miracle in Kevin's life!

God has done it again! He is ever so faithful and I give God all the glory for working miraculously and restoring all that the devil took away from my nephew's life. I am honoured and grateful for having played a tiny part in Kevin's life. To know that my labour of love has brought forth fruits makes me happy. I am extremely proud of Kevin for having done so well in his "O" level exams. From having failed a few subjects when he first came to live with me, he now has passed all subjects. He has done well enough to enter JC and qualifies for any course in the polytechnic.

Initially I was really concerned but as the days passed by, we became really good friends. All I did was listen, laugh, chat, crack jokes and was just there to give a few words of encouragement or pray when he needed it. I was a little stressed during his exam period as I found reading "Joy luck Club" a complete pain! I was examined on "Pride and Prejudice" for my exams a very long time ago and that is a far more interesting book than the one he had to read!

From goofing around all the time, spending nights out at some place somewhere, he gradually progressed into the man he is today!I can't help but smile when I look at him. During our numerous conversations I have told him that it is paramount to discover what God has made him for, the gifts God has bestowed upon him, the innate desire he has that just won't leave him; to discover his passion and to go after it instead of following the crowd. So, he won't be going to JC or the polytechnic because his desire and his insatiable passion for acting is taking him to Laselle.

I praise God for this miracle and I am just bursting with excitement for this wonderful young man, Kevin whom I love very much and whom I am so proud of for he has come a long way!

Temporal existence

This existence we have is so brief, sometimes the joy we feel is so shortlived and what you see are sullen skies ahead. I am saddened by news that friends are ill and dying.

I am not easily shaken by trials in life as I see them as opportunities for growth and for the expansion of faith that will take one to a place of greater glory as one looks upon God alone. To be taken out of your comfort zone is not the end of one's life but the beginning of a journey through which valuable lessons can be learnt. I have made many mistakes in life but I choose not to live in regrets but to move forward. I'd rather do something with the life that God has given me, whatever the length of time I have in this place we call earth than wallow in self pity! However, where it is a matter of life and death and it involves friends I love and family, I am absolutely shattered and shaken.

The focus of one's life on critics, crisis and sin will not take one to the destiny that God has in store for us. We have to find that secret place in which revelations are given where we can live a life truly submitted to the will of God. That takes sacrifice, a place of surrender, a place of prayer, a place of fasting, a place where the word of God comes alive in us.

I must return to that secret place to honour God and for my friends so that my tears would wash His feet and He would find my prayer pleasing to Him that I may give words of comfort that comes from Him to my dear friends who are tormented by illness. I pray for God's mercy and divine miracle!

Q and A

Q: What do you do when you are stripped of everything?You have nothing in terms of materialistic possessions, nothing called a home, not much in your pocket either?

A: You look beyond the circumstances and Praise God!!!! His joy is our strength! God deserves our praise despite our circumstances, despite the wrongs done, despite the injustice we face daily. God is good all the time.

Mess and vision cleared up!

I'm cleaning up the huge mess that has piled up all these years and I came across two cards with these writings on them:

"The vision that I glorify in my mind

The ideal that I enthrone in my heart

This I will build my life

And this I will become".

"I must have the vision to see

My potential and faith

To believe what I see,

The courage to act with conviction,

To become what God meant me to be".

2008

 A new year dawns upon us with new challenges. A time of new beginnings for me.God can't pour new wine into old wineskins and its time for renewal. I have been wrongly as well as severely judged by those whom I loved and cared for. There has been a betrayal of trust from one who declares to love me and from those who call themselves "friends". I have been the subject of gossip in the circle of those whom I have prayed, fasted and walked their painful journeys with as they battled against death, against unemployment and many other troubles known only to God.

I lived on bitterness and hatred for about a month. All through me flowed poisoned blood until I heard a beautiful message on forgiveness yesterday. Today, I spent my entire morning in the sweet presence of the Holy Spirit who did not judge but embraced me.I have been crying an awful amount since Christmas because of all the hurts levied at me. Today, I cried because I felt His presence for the first time in a long time and it was continuous.I have grieved Him but He has taken me back despite the fact that I stood before Him a sinner.  Nothing else matters when you know you have the one who truly loves you.

Mother Theresa once said that if you want to love then you must learn how to forgive. It doesn't change the past or minimize the severity of the offence. Often I have been advised to overlook the offence, to forget, to overcome by the blood of the lamb but nobody taught me that the pain is real, that it takes a long time to heal when the hurt is unbearably painful, that boundaries must be drawn to protect oneself, that forgiveness is not about forgetting about the offence but it is about moving forward and leaving the past behind to the greater purpose that God has for all of us. Forgiveness isn't resuming a relationship without genuine repentance either.Man cannot force a healing process to take place, it is an act of grace just as forgiveness is.

Forgiveness is a choice one makes in life based on one's value judgements. My relationship with God comes first in my life and it has always been that way since I knew Him but in the last few months I have allowed hurts to destroy that intimacy I had with Him.I began to wallow in self pity, complaining to God that I have sacrificed so much for this person and that person, done this and that for so many to receive only betrayal. It didn't get me anywhere and I just became more miserable, very unlike the abundant life God gave me!Once I turned my eyes towards eternity, these temporal things meant nothing to me. I work solely for God and all things I did were for Him and for His glory. Whose recognition am I seeking? Aren't my doings meant to be acts of love for God and his people? A humbling lesson but much needed!

This is my desire for 2008- I will live my life without any fears, with an understanding of what is most important to me, for what I stand for and to live according to His word and His direction alone! I lost my purpose and destiny because I lost my vision, my direction as I began to please man, getting involved in ministries that God had not called me for, becoming disillusioned in the process and becoming bitter through resentment I have for those who have betrayed me. I am returning to God's original purpose in my life as I do not want the winds of life to take control of my life but I do desire to have Him as the wind beneath my wings.

So, for all those who have caused me hurt, I forgive them as God has forgiven me. That's liberating! Why hold myself captive when Christ has come to set me free and I am free indeed! God bless you all!!!