It's more than a song

I read a totally awesome book recently. It's called Eat Pray Love. The author, is just the smartest person I've ever seen. Anyway, I'm gna quote some stuff that she said that I found was really wise.

In the search for God, you revert from what attracts you and swim towards what that is difficult. You abandon your comforting and familiar habits in hope that something greater will be offered to you in return of what you've given up. To believe in rituals like praying, fasting, etc is an act of faith because nobody amongst us is shown the endgame. Devotion is dilligence without assurance. There's a reason we refer to 'leaps of faith' - because the decision to consent to any notion of divinity is a mighty jump from rational over to the unknowable. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. If we truly knew all the answers in advance as to the meaning of life and the nature of God and the destiny of our souls, our belief would not be a leap of faith and it would not be a courageous act of humanity. That's the way I want it. I want faith. I want God in my heart and I want Him to play in my blood-stream the way sunlight amuses itself on water. We search for happiness everywhere, but we are like Tolstoy's fabled beggar who spent his life sitting on a pot of gold, unaware that his fortune was under him the whole time. Our happiness is within us already. But to claim it, we need to search deeper with God, and leave the commotion of the mind and abandon the stranglehold of the jealous heart. The search for divine bliss, eternal happiness is the entire purpose of human life. That is why all the suffering of the world is worthwhile, just for a chance to experience the infinite love of God. Sometimes, we experience that randomly. Suddenly, it seems like all the world has fallen away, and there is nothing there to keep you away from God and his love. Then, before you even know it, you snap back into the cruelty of this world. But maybe it's just God telling you, you can always go back to that perfect world once you have fully come to understand that you can always go back to that place.

I can control my thoughts. I know I can. But do I? Or am I even aware that I could? Repression and denial is not a way of controlling negative thoughts. The way is admitting to the existence of such negative thoughts and understanding where they are derived from and why they have arrived. Then, with forgiveness and fortitude, dismissing them. It's a sacrifice to let go of old habits and comforting grudges. But you just have to do it with constant vigilance and effort.

Convince others? Convince yourself first. Forgive others? Forgive yourself first. Forgive yourself and let go, with all your heart. Let all your intentions be free from useless suffering. When jealousy and hate is peeled off, only love remains. If you keep letting people get to you, your life starts revolving around the person. You just let her eat into your life, your passions, and she just stops your from enjoying everything, including life.

Life, if you keep chasing it so hard, will drive you to death. Time - when pursued like a bandit - will behave like one; always remaining ahead of you, changing its name and hair to elude you, slipping out of the back door of the hotel just as you're banging through the lobby with your newest search warrant, leaving only a burning cigarette in the ashtray to taunt you.

Anyway, it's just totally awesome. It makes you see like new stuff in a new perspective :D Anyway, results back today! Surprisingly, I don't feel anything much. Anyway. Bill Gates didn't even complete college I think. But the point is, we still shouldn't let ourselves fall back too much. (: Okay, English sucked balls. Well PE at least. It pulled everything down to craps. :D Chinese was all right I suppose. Science was damn bad. I ttly didn't expect it. Argh! ): Geog wasn't very good too. I got 0/3 for that high estimate question thing. Gg! But at least the essay which I mugged a lot for came out all right (: Lit wasn't too good. I think cause like different teachers different expectations or something. Heh. History was okay. SEQ turned out pretty okay! Except SBQ. Haha, and last but not least, Math! A-prime totally works (: Anyway, Trina and I made a pact not to be sad. To just look at our marks, and forget about it like 5 seconds later (: It worked well for the first few subjects! Until Science totally screwed it up. Hahahahaha! Ahwell, thanks Trina for being very comforting :D Really. Sarah too! (:

Anyway, I just realised the guy who 'kinda got Hamilton to turn around' was Massa. HAHAHA!

Training starts tomorrow. I don't know. I guess I'm kinda happy. But at the same time, I kinda dread it. And I know that really sucks. But the start of training marks the start of a new season. A gruelling season. Physically, but even more, mentally.

Show me how to love like you have loved me

Today was the social etiquette thing which was really funny :D The speakers and all. Angela, Crystal and I were just laughing like crap. :D And then Angela and I sat with Stuffy and YQ to eat :D YQ is really funny! HAHA! :D Then we went back to school and Mrs Hoo announced that RJ will be merging with RI to be called Raffles Institution.

Huimin's house was pretty funny :D Hahaha! First, huimin needs necessities. She should stop spending on Wii, Guitarhero and work on what she really needs. :D HAHAHA kidding! Anyway, we did quite a lot, surprisingly (: Hahaha! Then played guitarhero! Hahaha, I didn't suck as bad! But for hard, both of us hit 5% max :D

You are my freedom, Jesus you're the reason

Forever, author of salvation

Went to Wesley today. Elizabeth is really smart :D Hahahaha! I was trying to pronounce her name the cool way Iris pronounces it. Anyway, cell was pretty all right :D We talked about how we don't need people's approval as long as we have God in our heart. (: I really like this kinda stuff. Because I'm a person with not a very high self-esteem. Talked after that. (: Then went to joanne's house for RS :D Quite okay! :D We finished the report pretty fast. (: And joanne's parents were watching F1! Alonso won again! But the other Ferrari guy, whose name starts with R got 3rd. :D Yay! Lewis Hamilton dropped many places because someone kinda like got him to turn the other way. Hahaha, anyway then seeyoon tried to teach me one of her grade8 pieces :D But I don't think I can remember. HEH. Anyway, seeyoon&joanne were so funny! Cause seeyoon was like 'What if we don't pass!' And Joanne was like 'How can! Did you see the sample on inet? It was an adequate!' And I said 'Was it good? How many pages was it?' And joanne replied '4!' HAHAHA! So funny right! Okay anyway I was laughing like crap :D Our report was about 34 pages with lots of blank spaces in between :D HAHAHA! Thennn, we went to find th printing shops near Claire's house and I went home :D

5 o clock was really funny and bad! Hahaha! Played tennis with Sean. Omg you should have seen how many balls that I missed/returned skyhigh/hit with the top of my racket. It was so bad! I'm the worst tennis player ever la! And it was really really unglam :D HAHAHA! Anyway, I sucked very bad. And I think I sucked so bad that sean didn't play as well as he usually does too. HAHA! You have no idea how many 'sorry's, 'oops' and 'ahhhh!' I said. :D HAHAHA! Ahwell, my mum said beginners are all like that. :D

Long due F1 photos! :D But I took more videos though :D My camera's not very good that's why (:

Pit problem for Felipe Massa! ):

I think that was Felipe Massa. But I'm not sure. HAHA

Maybe its Lewis Hamilton. I have no idea (:

Mum and yihui (yihui looking old and ugly) HAHA

Questions of my heart

Today was sec4 Netball carnival! Joy, Kim and I got to judge the cheering competition! Anyway, there were some teams that were really the bomb la :D I would never be as creative as them! Then I went to umpire :D Which was okay laa. (: Hahaha! And there was bubble tea! And EUNICE SHOOTS INTO STARDOM! Hahaha! She was singing into the mic some chinese song! And everyone could hear her! Not bad, not bad :D Hahaha, go eunice! We'll always be your #1 fans! :D Hahaha. All in all, I had an awesome time :D Haha!

Then half lunch with netballers at Pepper lunch :D With banana telling us some really funny stuff. :D Man, you'll never believe it (: Then half lunch with worship team at Balcony@Heeren. Seriously, I didnt know where it was. (: Hahaha! But awesome place! Rocking chairs and everything :D Hahahah! And Asher was being a racist. 'Dont be so Jewish!' HAHAHA! Shopping with Rachael! Ahhhh! Feels awesome to shop again :DD 

Shoebox of photographs

Exams are over! Hahaha! Now, it's the results ): Anywayyy, shan't talk about the science paper. And me not bringing my calculator and only realising a minute before I went into the exam room. :D Anyway, time really flies. Omg, it's like one whole cycle all over again! Trainings during the holidays, competition period, slackoff period, then EOYS, then trainings again! :D Hahaha!

Watched House Bunny for batch outing today! :D It's srsly damn funny la :D Hahahaha! Hmm, then we went to Jodi's house! Huimin and I went to get her Wii and Guitar Hero (!) from her house first :D Hahaha! It was fun! Just that I was pretty tired :D Hahaha, I suck la, at Guitarhero and Volleyball ((:  

I've realised how lucky I am. It's funny how we always get into trouble and we think 'I'm going to die' and it all turns out all right. You know why? Because God always 'plants' people beside us, to accompany us, and to always stand firmly next to us. Friends, family that make everything bright and sunny (: An example would bewhen  I was watching Friends just now. It was funny but I didn't really laugh out loud or anything. Then my maid came and watch with me. And I started laughing cause she started laughing. :D See? Laughter is a social thing (: Not an emotion thing. Anyway, I started reading all my cards and notes that people wrote to me last time yesterday, and I realised how some people were ever so encouraging, and really, they never rejected me when I wanted to talk to them. Esp during the time I smashed my face. I think that was srsly a very bad time for me. But anyway, I thank everyone God has given. Esp my best friends :D Who I can always talk to and feel very comfortable talking to :D

ICE BATH TIME IS BACK! :D