You got THE UGLY!!

(Guess what, I'm having an episode again..)

hello, i'm hungry.

I went past my 2 chapters a day quota of Inivsible MonsterS (with an 'S'. psh, grammar natzi) and even when I still have a few minutes before As Told By Ginger back to back episode along with Hanna Montana at the same time, I went online and read useless stuff by strangers off the internet. I can't stay off my PC for so long.

Anyway.. I was reading this book right? and here are some of the quotes that I liked so far... Anton cover your ears!

"No matter how much you think you love somebody, you'll step back when the pool of their blood edges up too close."

"the one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person."

I finally finished my resume. haha. well, not really finished but good enough. Will send it to people tomorrow. I'm scared of working. I feel like I'm not really good at anything and people have no reason to waste money for me.

from now on, I will not hold back. I wont be able to do that right away but baby steps, i'm taking baby steps. I wont be ashamed anymore.

I am having a face breaking out phase. i hope it will be over soon.

and i hope i have the power to magically turn sentences into ideas that mesh well together, not a smorgasboard of random thoughts that could give a dinner buffet a run for its money. and i wish i didnt always start my sentences with I's.

I'm so hungry, i only ate one full meal today. It's my grandma's advanced birthday celebration a while ago and i got to eat her scrumptious kare-kare again (basically just peanut soup, veggies and bagoong for me). There's also deep-fried to its crispy goodness lumpiang shanghai that i obviously can't eat then someone knocks and brings a plate of big. ass. crispy. pata to the table. I sighed in frustration and rolled my eyes and mentally told myself that 'yeah, Jill, good job. why do you have to be such a nutjob and be a freaking vegetarian!!??'

they started ripping the fibery porky goodness of it and realized that the crispy pata is not so crispy anymore. I laughed inwardly because they wont be enjoying the goodness of it like me. and my mom just made the wittiest statement so far.

"siguro sabi ni Angeli, ha. buti nga sa inyo, hindi malutong yung crispy pata.."

well it's not really funny or witty but it's just cool that she read my mind and stuff. but her coolness wore off immediately after she tried to sell me to my cousin to be my niece's baby sitter. yeah. nice work mom.

when we got home, i have one goal in mind and that is to take resume pictures on my pink wall then photoshop a white background to it and make it 2x2. well here are the products of my "hardwork".

there's plenty more but as you can see, it all looks the same. and i realized, no one's gonna hire me if my resume picture looks like a friendster pic with cropped hair (because I will change the background to white and considering my Photoshop skilzzz, i will probably end up with a flat head. not pretty.)

i ended up asking jhermin to scan my grad pic and using it as resume pic while i kick myself for being a cheap ass and not getting the photo package with the professional looking resume picture that says, 'hey, i'm all dolled up and i'm wearing a nice suit. hire me, you nice employer!'

while taking these bunch of pictures, here are the stuff that i realized:

• all these while, i thought i was photogenic enough but nooooo. pictures dont do me justice. i actually look better in real life.
• i look better in pictures if one or all of the following conditions are met:
• i'm not the one taking it
• i'm not trying to be all cute and stuff
• it was taken at a spontaneous magical moment when my hair and everything else is at the right place.
• even when my lips are relaxed, i will always look duck-faced because of my braces.
• deer-in-headlights look is my default look.
• when i try to smile with my eyezzz like Tyra said, i end up looking like a moron.
• my face is shaped like a foot. no, an inverted tear drop. or an egg. and i thought my cheekbones are looking good.
• the camera really adds pounds to a person. i look kinda healthy here but really, i'm a gaunt-faced, dry-skinned, druggie-looking bitch.

i'm hungry!!! oh well, hanna montana time!!

Tangingang PS. I love you yan!

when Erika and Jhermin said that they cried not even 30 minutes through the movie, they werent lying. God, i think i started crying 15 minutes into it. It didnt even matter that i was watching it my brother. i tried to shoo him off cause i want to watch it and cry all out and I cant do that with him around.. so instead of sobbing like an old lady at a wedding, I covered myself in comforter, had my throat tighten up because i was trying not to make too much noise and just whimper silently under the covers, letting the heavy tear drops fall to the bed. I could hear it, the sound of my tears dropping. and I hate Gerard Butler for being so adorable. In 300, I was going for Astinos but in this movie, I'm all his..

I was crying so so much during the karaoke scene where Hilary Swanks character was singing and instead of seeing a room full of audience, she saw an empty room except for Gerry and she's singing to him. and gawwwwwwd that scene just made me die a little inside.

I wouldnt know what to do if someone like that dies on me cause what will you do? it's that case where there's really no hope, that person is not coming back ever. its not a vacation, that person will not change his mind and love you again, he's just gone. not off to somewhere else but gone. i hope no one i love dies. but that will be impossible.

anyway. on a lighter lighter note. not including death or gore or whatever. but it does include my face. kinda.

My mom just bought me a waffle maker!! hahaha. I didnt think she'd really buy me one cause i know this is just a weird craving that will last for probably a week but she did anyway. so yaaaaay for new waffles.  

i look so annoyingly pa-cute in all those pictures. weird.i was going for crazy-bitch-who-just-got-a-waffle-maker-from-her-mom look.

halloween is coming up, what are you planning to be?

I'm going as a hippie. but my friends say that's boring since i look like that on a normal day anyway. So i think i will be a hippie with AIDS from spreading too much love or a hippie flower child kid shot in the forehead by a soldier while i'm putting a daisy on his gunhole thing. i dont know. whatevs.

ps. guess what.

off to go read Invisible Monster now. 

You should get a schmoschmortion in a schmoschmortion clinic.

went to school a while ago and got my grad class picture.

scan c/o Leslie Sy. While everyone look so giddy that they are graduating, I look like that kid who always got her lunch money beaten up from her by the school bully..

then after having waffles (i was craving for it the whole week! i even asked my mom to get me a waffle maker so I could make some. im that desperate), Anton and I colored this thing. Well, he colored most of it and i basically bickered, spaced out and looked out the glass window of the coffee shop being distracted by nothing in particular. I need to have my attention span checked. He drew this and he has his own version and he just printed out a copy for me to color so i could have my own version of the drawing cause lets face it, I am not ever gonna be able to draw something like this even if my life depended on it. Visit his Deviant Art (click!) cause he does some other cool stuff too.

i enjoy coloring. coloring is fun.

i want to draw. like be able to draw stuff and people would like it. or at least i would. i draw but halfway through, i would look at it and decide that its ugly and throw a tantrum like a 3-year-old kid. bleh.

anyway...

this. ha! in the middle of the night, I see a Simple Plan video out of nowhere and just when im about to go to sleep already, my heart jumps and there, i remember the feeling of seeing something you love when you least expect it. and I cant wipe the smile off my face until i went back to bed and dozed off.

sweet you rock and sweet you roll..

currently listening to: 90's songs.

anyone who doesnt feel depressed after listening to Boyz II Men is seriously emotionally ill. hahaha. Boyz II Men now reminds me of my favorite favorite (yes that's twice) episode of The OC. oh, Seth Cohen. oh, Seth Cohen in a Spiderman mask. you are love..

I just read on the internet that the Time Traveler's Wife movie will be showing soon! and i cant wait to see how it will turn out on screen. I actually imagined it to be Liv Tyler to be Clare and i dont know, Edward Norton to be Henry but now i realized that Edward Norton would look too cute for Henry. So i guess Eric Bana is a good choice. and Rachel McAdams as Clare could work too since it would be easy to make her look young and old with all the time periods involved in the story. I just hope it will be as much of a tearjerker as the book.

and onto more books turned into movies, i just downloaded an ebook of Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist cause I think the movie will be cute and I want to read the book first. Michael Cera is really cute in a dorky way. and his face is soooooo smooth. like you could feel it on the tip of your fingers kind of smooth.

this is boring.
everything's boring.