People? I dunno

I noticed something about people today, im not sure how I got to thinking about it, but I noticed certain traits in people.

Some people are just really likable from the beginning of anything they do! Take jobs for example: I know many people that are very excited about their jobs, make friends easily, and always have stories to tell about them. These people are the kind of people that don't see the negative's in situations, they always bring out the positive even if things arent going their way. I really want to be one of these people, and I have tried, but I just dont have that glow or something. I can't just start socializing with people and have them like me back really quick, if at all.

Then there are the people like me. When they get a job, or have to do something that involves socializing, they aren't very good at it. Explanation? Maybe there is one, but from my perspective... I've always been a pretty friendly person who treats people with respect and says hi, and makes up casual conversation. However, most of the time I end up getting strange looks, and end up being by myself.

Those are the two most common I've ran into. There are people in between, but im just so confused at how some people can make a friendship in a day! Maybe not a day... but they do it very quickly. My sister is a good example of this, and so is my cousin Connie. They make friends very easily. I have lived in Altus for like 4 months total, and I don't really have any friends. I know people. but it's not the same. I know that when Sarah and Robert get a house on base or off base, that she will end up with friends in no time at all.

This was hard for me in school too. I never had that many close friends, I had one that I would cling to, and then the rest of the time I would be on my own. Most of the friends I have now are infact, or were my sister's friends first... which doesnt count because I didnt make them myself. The only good ones that I ever made myself were.... like 3... 3!!!!  The good ones I have from Sarah.. are people like Garrit... Kelsey was always good about hanging out with me and not minding I was Sarah's little sister, Jennifer talks to me all the time now too. Oh and Gary.... Chris Nelson is a very cool guy... I have met a lot of people through her, and some like me, and some dont because im the little sister, but a lot of her friends ended up becoming my friends as well. I guess you could say the same about my friends though. I know that Tonya and Candice are going to her wedding, and talk to her occasionally, but I think that's because Sarah made an effort to be-friend my friends when they came over, and she is good at it.. so yeah.

My conclusion is... im just not a very likable person! I wish I could be. Good friends are hard to come by, but for some reason me and my sister have made a lot of really good ones over the past years. So.. another conclusion might be that it's hard to find good friends and keep them.

Mommy & Daddy

I got to see my mom and dad AGAIN! LOL. They got a load through Vernon, so we went up to see them, then they realized that their truck had a huge puddle of diesel underneath it, so they had to call breakdown and get this problem fixed. Mom and Dad were pissed because the truck was supposed to have had a service on it before they left. and now they were having a major problem. Although I was happy because they got to spend more time with me and josh!!!

So anyways, mom and dad's breakdown ends up towing the truck to Wichita Fall, Texas... which is about an hour and a half away from Altus. about 90 miles. Josh and I went home because mom and dad had to stay wtih the truck, and they didnt know when it would be fixed. Then mom calls me later and says that the truck wont be fixed for a couple days because they have to order a part. So, mom calls her dispatch and asks them if its ok if she stays with me, and ofcourse that's fine, so I went to pick them up all by myself. I had never driven to Wichita Falls, Texas before, but it was SIMPLE. Josh had to go to work and turn on the trucks for an hour so he couldnt go. I really wanted to see mom and dad so.... I did it! Dad drove on the way back because I didnt want to.

Anyways, we had a great time. Folded out the hidabed in the living room, went shopping with mom, got dad a birthday pie... hehe... went to a bunch of thrift stores with mom. Then the next day they had to leave.

Now they are broke down again in Dallas Texas... something is wrong with their breaks.. mom is mad.... Dallas is a bit further than Wichita Falls, about 3 hours from here... so 6 hours round trip. They want them to fly to Vegas to get a truck, but they have no way to get all their stuff on a plane because they dont have luggage, and they dont want to leave it in the truck, because if anything get's lost or stolen my parents cant do anything about it. So mom is pissed, and is working it out with their dispatch.  I wish they could come up here.. they had to spend the night in a hotel room last night. I wish they could have spent that with me! Mom wishes that too. Anyways, gotta go!

Later!

Baby!

I haven't updated on here in A LONG LONG TIME. I was told I should though, so I am. A lot has gone on since my last post but im not even going to write that much. I've learned a lot about life in the last year and I have had a lot of changes happen. I have made mistakes, and I think I have grown in a lot of ways.

I have had a lot on my chest, that I have felt I can't really say on myspace without getting greif about it, so since knowone really reads xanga I can let it all out there.

I'm done with people and their drama, and im also done with my own drama. I dont think im totally over this, but i'm trying to let go of a lot of it and start a new life. Yes, yes I am. I was pushed way to far over the edge, I was hurt really bad, and I am continueing to see what true friends really are, and how important it is to keep those people in your life. It doesn't mean that you have to know every intimate detail about them, it just means being there for them, getting advice from them, having fun hanging out with them, and just having a good old fashioned conversations with them. I think it also means showing them what a good friend you are, by your actions and your words. Actions speak a lot louder than words sometimes.

I would say that I am a pretty good friend. I know that I haven't been to some people, and I think that's because im pretty hard headed and I judge people really quickly. Though, it's hard not to I think. Once someone pisses me off really good it's hard for me to say anything nice about them, and it's hard for me to forgive them. In my mind im telling myself "How can I forgive them when they've hurt me so incredibly bad and they don't even seem to care?"  I only know a couple of people like that though... I eventually just get over it. And when I say get over it... it works like this: I talk to them in the future if they talk to me, I act like nothing has happened because what's in the past is in the past... but I will always remember what that person did and what they are capable of. And I suspect some people have judged me the same way. They will be nice to me, but they know what a bitch I can be.

There are some people out there though that you are always nice to, and always civil to, because those people never provoke, and never get involved. Even when they are close to it, and someone tries to bring them in, they just say no, and they dont have anything to with it at all. I am trying to become more like this. Although knowing my family it's a very hard thing to do. I am trying to do this now because im so far away from everyone and that makes it a lot easier. Actually, I take that back, because everytime someone isnt getting along they ignore eachother and make blasts at eachother on the internet for everyone to read just so they will get a response because the other one is trying to prove something to everyone by saying something back to defend themselves.

That sucks. So anyways, im tired of typing, and I think I got my point across. No drama for me, and also more trying to stay in the background and watch as people kill their souls with all the madness that goes on.