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lovetragedia
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Name: Elaine
Country: Singapore
Metro: Singapore
Birthday: 4/3/1992
Gender: Female
Interests: Ambivalence & Ambiguity, Baking, Brownies, Chocolate, Colours, Grey's Anatomy, Heffalump, Ice Cream, Literature, Movies, Muuuusic, One Tree Hill, Piglet, Photography, Poetry, Photoshop, Sketches, TheDailyScoop.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
1/16/2006
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| and now there's nothing I can doListening to built to last. How much more appropriate can songs be. | | |
| When there is nothing left to burnIf what you wanted was breaking my heart, great job - you've done it (yet again).
I'm torn apart and trying to pick up the pieces and put myself together because I can and I will.
I'm just gonna keep praying and keep having faith and reading what strengthens my faith and I'm gonna be okay.
And it's funny how strangers from the past can make you happy once again. Strange but, pleasant. (:
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| And yet I am not alone,His
disciples said to Jesus, 'Now you are speaking plainly and not using
veiled language. Now we see that you know everything and need not wait
for questions to be put into words; because of this we believe that you
came from God.'
Jesus answered
them: 'Do you believe at last? Listen; the time will come - indeed it
has come already - when you are going to be scattered, each going his
own way and leaving me alone. And yet I am not alone, because the
Father is with me. I have told you all this so that you may find peace
in me. In the world you will have hardship, but be courageous: I have
conquered the world.' John 16:29-33
Today was good (:
Need to say this because I want to remember October 5th, because today's the day I felt God.
Went to church with Mommy for the first time in .. (i have no idea). And it was amazing. Feeling God's presence and feeling welcomed, feeling like I belonged, feeling like I wasn't alone, and I prayed and knew He was listening. I could feel Him standing there with open arms and letting me know that He was going to be there. Went up for communion and Father J touched my head and I started tearing in a good way and went back to the pewter to pray and somehow felt some form of peace (: and felt touched by Him.
And I'm going to make sure I don't give up like I have before. And that no matter what happens I'm going to remember to go to Him and not run away like I have before, and not let myself fall back no matter how bad things get. It's all gonna be okay (: I just need faith and I think I've found it.
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| And against our better judgment, we start to have hopeI've spent lots of time thinking and trying to sort things out these few weeks. Weighing out the consequences of choices made, or decisions I should make.
And somehow I think my heart's pretty sure that what I'd like most for the next 2 years is to keep the friends I've made these 4 years close, and really, you guys are the only reason I'd want to go to RJ.
As much as I have this baaaaad feeling I'll hate it, hate the school, suffer like crap, I think I could convince myself that as long as I've my friends around it's all gonna make things better :) Because lately, these people (+ family) have been making me happy, making me feel like things are worth it again. And that's all that matters right :)
I'll just have to figure out some way to get through with school life, just like I have for the past 4 years. But I'm pretty sure I'll find some way, and as long as I know you guys are trying for this just like I am, I think I'm gonna put my heart in & try my best too y'know. Maybe we'll all figure this out, and despite all the changes we're gonna go through (with others or ourselves), I think friends would still stick by each other right, and I love that part <3
Love you all :)
& thank you for helping me find the courage to get through each day, "because we all need a little help sometimes".
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| I prayed today.Lord, I thank you for my friends, for those who understand me better than I understand myself, for those who know me at my worst and still love me, for those who have forgiven me when I had no right to expect to be forgiven.
Lord, help me to have the courage and self-control, to never do anything which would hurt others, grieve those who love me, or bring shame to myself.
this I ask for your love's sake. Amen.
I am truly, very deeply sorry.
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