So another long break from the blog, so let's put some words to the page.

I've been busy doing interviews for other opportunities and beyond these past few weeks. Most over the phone, some in person. And since then I have received a few job offers. I have not committed to any of them as of yet as I'm waiting out all my options. I'm not saying much only a few know where and what they are and it shall remain that way until a decision is final.

At MW it's been secret Angel weeks for the staff, what this means is you are given a random member of staff and you are to be an "Angel" to them by secretly doing acts of kindness for them. My Angel sent me on a long riddle hunt across our property. It was so much fun wondering who it was all the time and thinking where my next clue would take me. In the end I got some "official" 104.9 FM swag. Thank you secret Angel!

Currently up taking care of one pooch at the GM's...it's been great spending time away from the hustle and bustle but at the same time I feel bad that I'm away and out of the loop. I do miss my room with my 3 bunkmates. On the plus I'm caught up on some of the events of the outside world and Mocha and I are having a great time together!

Oh...may be wondering how my first hosting gig went. Well let's just say it's now over and I can improve on it. Sadly it lead me to have 2 panic attacks and I'm certain the school was not impressed of any of it.

One thing that I'm getting better at is wall climbing, although my schedule still hasn't allowed me to spend more time in there, most have commented that there is great improvement with how I climb. I'm still striving for more so I'm hoping many are still willing to teach.

Memories for Wabora 2 times in a row, meeting Marissa, "JR is happy today", Killer Bunnies when no one should have been playing due to tiredness, seeing my sister on Skype, "Your hairy!", tube run fun, Erika just being herself, getting dates for time off, seeing actual planning in action, riding the TTC solo, yelling at kids to get off the lake, kicking the cold in record time, just hanging out, Monday's Family Day dinner, chats with Matt and Hammer and for everyone yelling at me to update my blog!

I've found the best way to take away the problems of the world is to walk and talk them out.

Sometimes when I get to the extremes that's what I do. Sadly I have to admit, I suffer from panic attacks, and when they come I pace like crazy, I start incoherently babbling about things which leads to a stutter, to breathing issues, to panic and so on. Even when I start to stress I walk around.

Last week it was strong with this, it seemed everything that could go wrong did. Friday was when it boiled over, it took me about an hour to get back to the norm.

One thing I have learned is to place verbal words to bring me down out of it. I also need to prevent them from happening by not worrying about every little thing as if it could be the last thing I do, something which I do way too much.

I have also found talking about it before and after it happens lowers it down as well. I am very thankful for a large group of friends and compadres who help with this when I need it most. Even though I sometimes feel that I dump too much on them and then it's not really returned to me.

Working on getting somethings prepped for summer, I have one more interview in the works and I'm currently doing some more feeling on other areas. One spot I'm in waiting to hear back from.

I also found out last week a relationship will not be started, it really hurt as it was something I had been fighting to do for a long time, it just wasn't meant to be I guess.

Memories for Bent River not happening but happening in a sense, the games of Go, a walk to a snowy beach, more cigars up top, Wayne, good times in the cabin, JR and his love/hate relationship with wireless, my new MacBook Pro and the excitement it caused in the office, "I love the rainy nights...", the Prez of MW telling me I'm not listening to God if I don't work here this summer and the afternoon adventure with Mocha.

I got this thing so I could re-connect and put thoughts to “paper”, but I’ve been having one of those moments where writing would be a positive thing.  Oh well, now I’m in the mood so let’s get going.

 

I last left off I was going away for a couple days, I ended up actually going to Ottawa by myself, stayed in a hotel, saw the sites and all the museums I could take in, did some shopping and even saw Harry Connick Jr. in concert!  Ate high quality food some nights and good quality beverages.  Only downside, on the way in I got into a accident where my drivers side door got smucked on one end and the front fender bashed in.  It happened right at the start of the trip and I tried not to allow it to upset me, which it didn’t.  I got back, was refreshed and ready for summer.

 

Summer went by like a flash though, made some more friends, re-acquainted with others, it was good.  By the end of it I was tired and looking back on it I realized I worked too much for little credit.  My boss didn’t really check in on me too much and personal support was few and far between, I was a labourer for someone else it felt like at times.  But I did love it!  I celebrated my 24^th at the end of it, my little sister spent a few days leading up to it going around camp having all the staff sign little cards that she scattered about the radio station, all of them with personal messages of thanks and well wishes.  That my friend made me feel much better.  There were some downfalls, I didn’t work out as much as previous summers, because of the lack of personal talk time I had many a yelling match with the guy upstairs, but interestingly enough it always worked out that someone came along to talk with me and settle me down.  Overall I would give summer 2007 neither a thumbs up or down.

 

Summer came to an end the way it always does, with tears.  But before the tears came hugs of welcome, during the last week of camp all my friends who were working fall crew came back from their respective areas of other work.  It was great to see Matt, Melissa and Aaron back at the Woods again and to know we would be working together once again.

 

Fall brought the challenge of a another brand new season of Outdoor Rec for me.  Luckily my sister would be along for the ride along with a few other really good friends from summer.  A new boss and some other new postings brought separate challenges, but we dealt with them in stride.

 

Some highlights included getting to live in a community environment, (I know that probably sounds like an odd one but pretty much a year living by myself and getting shuffled out of arrangements with people who were about to get married, so finally living with the people I was working with and actually get to know them a little better) working in ropes and getting some recognition, socializing more, working the top of the tower and overcoming my fears of lobster claws, (see my old blog about that one) indoor climbing more, going to church, playing CSI Muskoka because of a missing wooden bear, seeing kids progress in climbing from every walk of life, being a king for the day, all of the radio banter (remember I’m also Jeff now!), getting and being the only OREC member and non-management employee with WSIB Level 1 certification (it was pretty sweet, I got to spend 3 days off property in a hotel with all expenses paid!) and laying things out in a very good way to many friends who I believe are now much closer because of it.

 

The downfalls, panic attacks – I suffered 2 really bad ones, one after a really bad first time on the tower where everything that could go wrong did, and another when I over-reacted on words that I said when in reality they had no effect whatsoever.  Issues with girls – There are 2 people whom I would really like to get to know more and would like to think I could make a relationship with, one I have now realized it will not happen, but still all through fall I had feelings for them but couldn’t muster to ask them.  Becoming a professional driver – I had thought with our own car I would be done with driving the camp van for others, but it didn’t happen.  For some reason this past fall I also got the bad guy persona which it seemed caused distancing from a lot of the staff.

 

Fall ended off the way it usually does, with the retreat.  Usually a good time it wasn’t for me.  Well I shouldn’t say that, there were a few moments.  On the opening night awards banquet I was honoured with the Service Standard Award for Safety, I learned how to 10 pin bowl and I had a great time with some of the Toronto staff playing old school board games.  What made it so bad then?  Well some upsetting things happened right before the retreat for me which didn’t leave when we started it all.  I moped around a lot and was seen as not a happy person.  Things transcribed which will come about in a later blog about it, needless to say I’m glad it came to light at the retreat and I’m now working on dealing with it.

 

Oh and as a bonus at the very end Matt, JR, Hammer, Kariss and my sister all went to Red Lobster.  Why is that such a big deal?  Well it was my very FIRST TIME!!!  It was so great that that meal was the final memory for me of Muskoka Woods for 2007.

 

So other than the typical Christmas break stuff which hasn’t changed over the years so I won’t get into it, we are now up to speed on this blog as per my life as of late.  So now you can expect much smaller postings than this one (But I do apologize and thank you for catching up) and it have a little more sustenance and currency.

 

Until then, later.