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| Blog moves...finallyIts something I have been meaning to do for about two years now. I have been putting it off for that long....I know. I am a procrastinator.
C'est la vie.
My blog is now hosted on my own website: http://robertcarpenter.net
You should find that you can "subscribe" via email and add it to your RSS reader....whatever you want. Currently my Xanga archives are not available on my website, but I may choose to integrate them later (ie. thats the plan...).
If you are reading this on facebook....nothing is going to change. My blogs are still going to be imported to facebook.
With that, I say goodbye to Xanga.
Happily,
Robert Carpenter
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| Guatemala, posthttp://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2020665&l=56412&id=65502037
I posted some pictures of my trip to Guatemala on facebook. Anyone and everyone should be able to see those pictures and my comments on them.
In the last two weeks, people have often asked me "Are you glad you went?" or "Was it a good trip?" or even "Are you going to go back?"
These are essentially the same question and the answer is yes. It would be impossible for me to capture any particular aspect of my trip accurately for you through words, be they written on paper or spoken. It would also be impossible for me to succinctly convey anything through pictures and my descriptions of those events seemingly captured by those pictures. Nevertheless...people want some sort of report, quantitative analysis, adventure summary, or image of success.
I want to say two things about my trip. First: I will be glad to tell you all about it but not right away. This is not because I am "still processing" as some would imply, though I am still processing: I think I will always be processing. The fact is that, not only am I not capable of describing my trip, I'd rather not boil it all down for you. I want it to stay as large and un-boiled down as possible. If you want to hear about my adventures tromping around the globe, my suggestion is thus: be around me. Trust me, you'll hear about it.
Second: to elaborate specifically on the question "Are you glad you went?" I would like to say, "it was exactly what I needed." Needed. Not wanted, hoped, or thought I needed. God put in my heart a desire to go on the trip and then miraculously provided the funds for the trip. He worked so many miracles through and for me. I am in awe of how perfect His timing is. I am not the same person I was, nor do I desire to be.
Hey, thanks to everyone who prayed. Your prayers were invaluable: keep praying. Thanks to everyone who showed me, once again, that God is bigger than money.
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| I don't even know where to start. There is so much on my mind. I can't barely even begin to sort it for you. I might even fall asleep before I get it all out. Lord willing, that will be the case.
I started reading before sleep about nine months ago. I read some novel and keep the bookmark always on the current page I am reading so that when I fall asleep I don't loose my place. Ten months ago I could fall asleep at the drop of a hat, so long as I was in bed. Now? I stir. My worst night is the one when I finish a book. Usually I am not happy with the ending and so I lay there trying to be comfortable in a ridiculously priced mattress with more ridiculously priced bedding surrounding me in 'comfort'...yet I still have to try. I can never seem to wake up satisfied...I wake up cranky and really thirsty. It didn't used to be that way. The sleep is 'refreshing' only in that I wake up and am not tired anymore. In reality...I feel like six to eight hours of my life has disappeared from the record books and all I have to show for it is some vague recollections of a dream or two. That's the other thing: dreams. I used to dream about once every three months. Now? Nightly. Sometimes more. Say what you want...I don't believe the psychologists can prove I *always* dream, but sometimes don't remember it. Either way, I am dreaming more now than I used to.
I am visiting my parents this weekend. They live in a much bigger city than I do. It makes me sick and depressed to see all the wealth or sometimes faux-wealth that floats all around this big city. I am not saying that there is not wealth in my hometown, but rather that its not as often displayed as well as it is in th ebig city. What is so depressing? The extreme wealth. "[...] it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God" (Mt 19:24, NAS). People say that God has blessed this nation with wealth. I think they are right...but that's not the end of the sentence people. What Jesus is saying here points the finger at Satan for making us rich.
You know whats sad? There are actually laws that deem the minimum standard of living in this country. Wait...why is that sad? Because when even building a house requires a permit, lest you be fined, you are required to follow building code. And following building code is expensive.
Let me illustrate something: Pretend you have five dollars, and only five dollars. One day while walking on a road you see a piece of land for sale. Its not but almost half an acre, but the selling price is eighty five cents. Furthermore, you notice that the land is quality for farming. Estatic, you approach the seller and buy the land. Now you have four fifteen. With a new lease on life you walk to the lumber yard and buy four dollars worth of supplies and tools to build a house. Promptly, because of your diligent hard work, a small two-room house is erected. Now you have fifteen cents and a house on some land, which is good for farming. Problem: you didn't put a floor in your house. You are fine with that because a roof over your head is better than a floor underneath. However don't try and raise a family in that home. And you better not live in it yourself. Our laws prevent that kind of thing.
Wealth in this country is required to produce at all.
Depending on who you ask, the poverty line here in the US is between $10k and $15k per year, for one person. I sit at less than half of that and live pretty comfortably, for one person. The poverty line is the bottom 10% of the wealth in the country, I think.
How is it that we, the richest country in the world, are unable to fix the millions of people that are depressed. Why are we, who almost all have cell phones, lonely? Why are we, whom have been given the gift of wealth hanging onto it for dear life?
Bed.
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| Lord, convict me further....These are some of the things for which I have recently felt a change in my heart:
Thursday morning Bible study is of utmost importance. I am not sure why just yet, but the Lord has something to show me here. Often I leave this mid-week mens group frustrated at the lack of serious Biblical study....it often dilutes into a nonsense complaint of the woes of being in the workforce. My hope? That the serious and deep nature of the verse-by-verse study of the book of Hebrews (which we are starting tomorrow morning) will spur greater examples of Proverbs 27:17.
"Some things are not meant to be part of your life." I have never been a "drinker" in any sense of the word. Lately the last of my core group of friends went into the legal-to-consume-alcohol group and I have found myself exploring different types of beer and wine. This and my weekly poker night are not to be part of my life anymore. Why? I do not see a direct doctrine that says that I should not drink alcohol....rather I see the opposite in scripture (clairification: people drink wine in scripture...). Poker is a little less frequently debated, but at one time I convinced myself that the same was true for this social activity. I do not think that either of these constituted an idol in my life...but I think that they had the propensity. In fact, the only negative effect that I can see, as of yet, is that about half of the time Wednesday night poker interfered with Thursday morning Bible study. Nevertheless, I am convicted. I am sorry, poker friends, but I'll not be returning.
My pursuit of theology needs to become more active. I love discussing theology. I love reading about philosophies. But I have withdrawn myself from this love for the last year-ish. That time is over. It is time to find out exactly what I believe and study it and understand it and change my world view to fit accordingly. My love of theology is a gift, a talent, from God. Scripture says that burying it in the dirt is sin.
Reading shouldn't be limited to before bed. This afternoon I picked up a book and read two pages. For the rest of the night I was mulling over the words I had read. And powerful words they were; they challenged both my view of God and my understanding of evil. Conversely, for the last year I have read myself to sleep. I often wake up in the morning still thinking about the story that I fell asleep reading, still bound by its story. I need to force myself to read during my waking hours. I love it, its just that I often put other things above it. Sorry laptop though you help me write these words you will be getting less attention in my down time. Practically this means carrying a book around with me (something my mother has done for years  .) If my pursuit of theology is going to be more active I will need to be reading while still conscience.
Simplicity in life. So much of my life is surrounded by the frivolous. So much is unnecessary. I am going to try and slim it down a bit. I am not entirely sure what will be trimmed, though some of it is outlined here, in this writing. There is so much distraction and incomplete-ness in my life. I want to finish things of old and trim the things of new.
Prayer. Need I say more? About two weeks ago, John Piper told me that believing that I was unable to schedule myself to pray is a lie because I have scheduled my eating and using the restroom into my physical life for 23 years now. He said that I should treat prayer as "more important that eating and more important than sleeping" because it is. Forgetting to pray is putting my eternal life at risk. Forgetting to eat is putting my temporal life at risk. Which has greater consequences? Pray.
These are some of the things that my Lord has put on my heart very heavily. If you and I frequent a friendship then I ask that you would help keep me accountable. Some of these are new boundaries in my life, and, as with most good habits, they take some time to adjust. I'll need your help. If you are reading this then please say a prayer for me, right now, that the Lord would help me be successful in that which His will has called me.
EDIT: many of these are not discussed completely here...simply ask in person or shoot me an email if you wish to discuss further. I'd love to talk with you about any of these.
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| Twenty Three and I am finally starting to understand some things...For many years I have been searching for the missing link between the Old Testament and the New Testament. I have been trying to figure out how the OT applies to me, today. I am not claiming to have the answer, but I am, for now, satisfied.
I have always thought of the OT as a book of history. It is, don't get me wrong. But that is not all it is. Listen:...And I will have mercy on No Mercy, and I will say to Not My People, "You are my people"; and he shall say, "You are my God" - Hosea 2:23
This catches me off guard...the language here is kind of awkward. It took me second read to realize that Not My People and No Mercy are names. It is OT proof of something I have previously thought to be only NT theology -- that we, as modern day Christians, are Israel.
If this hasn't gripped you just yet, let it sit. Realize, as I did the other day, that the stories of the OT that talk about how much the Lord pursues Israel are also stories of how he pursues us. When reading in the books of the OT I often think to myself "...this is nuts. Its like God is saying 'wake up...focus on me...do as I have ordained' and, like a three-year-old, Israel, through their actions as a people, shout back at the Lord '...but just one more?' and then proceed to run away as if the answer had been yes. But what grips me now is that this is how I am.
God is constantly trying to get my attention. Me? I am stubbornly running the other way. I often look back, and sometimes even slow down. But running I am. Is the Lord incapable of catching me? No. But how fruitless is a forced love?
Create in me a clean heart Lord.
Help me to delight and rejoice in you.
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Running as always
again I spy my shadow
He is calling me
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