Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart

At New Attitude I purchased Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart by John Ensor; who knew how inciteful his comments are about relationships!  In essence, this is one of the best, if not the best, books on Christian relationships that strongly attacks ungodly relationships by exalting God in his design of complementarianism.  Read C.J.'s and Tim Challies' comments on the back of the book first before reading my two cents.

Ensor exquisitely outlines the contours of the pages of Scripture in matters of the heart in the first part of his book.  His book does incorporate and endorse what the Bible says about how God created the heart, what the heart longs for and lacks; at the same time, he skillfully points out the tragic flaws from literary novels and real-life experiences.  All of this is used for Ensor defending that men and women can have a "healthy, tender, passionate, enduring, mutually satisfying relationship".  And what I love is that this isn't a legalistic list of do's and don'ts in a relationship; Ensor shows that walking out a God-glorifying relationship right deals with matters of the heart, both from his heart and her's.  Which leads to the second part: how do we do things right?

Ensor strongly lifts up the complementarian position in this section and final section.  For those of you who may not know, complementarianism is basically saying that men and women are equal in that they worth and standing before God, but are different in their roles and functions before God; if this is incorrect, please let me know! 

Here are the names of the chapters in this section; my hope is that this wets your appetite for the book, and beyond that, embracing God's design for you as a man or a woman:

• He Initiates... She Responds
• He Leads... She Guides
• He Works... She Waits
• He Protects... She Welcomes Protection
• He Abstains to Protect... She, to Test
• His Unmet Desire Drives Him toward Marriage... Hers is Rewarded with Marriage
• He Displays Integrity... She, Inner Beauty
• He Loves by Sacrificing... She, by Submitting
• He Seeks His Happiness in Hers... She Seeks Hers in His
• He Is the Primary Provider for the Family... She, the Primary Nurturer

Personally, I was affected by how a man in a healthy, tender, passionate, God-glorifying relationship is to sacrifice and seek happiness in his girlfriend or wife (whichever applicable).  Ensor provides such an encouraging story of when he took Kristen, his wife, out to date night and he decided on choosing to go to a family diner restaurant; upon the way he was about to pass a Panera and remembered how much she liked food from Panera.  Even though Panera isn't really his favorite, he parked to go eat in Panera, and Kristen smiled in response.  "Victory!"  Way to go, John E; you just racked up some man-points that night! 

Personally, I want to begin doing that in relation to Jocelyn, and by God's grace there are some practical ways as to how that can be done!  She doesn't like Chinese food; okay, so say goodbye to Chinese for a while!  If there's a Phillies game or an episode of American Idol that she's excited about, okay, both aren't my preference, but I'll try to be more than happy to join her!  Now with the Yankees, absolutely not!  If football is on, I can catch the score on espn.com or watch the game with other bros and do something else with her!  If I want to bless her with chocolate oat shortbread, now I know to use milk chocolate instead of dark (and to add FLOUR this time!).  Now, in God's sovereignty and by God's grace, there can be more practical ways to study and be a faithful student of knowing who Jocelyn is and what she is like; I trust she can say the same in return in relation to me.

So bros, let's follow Paul's example from Philippians 2 by considering our girlfriends/wives more significant than ourselves.  We'll fumble most of the time, but let's draw on God's grace by glorifying him by serving her out of the love and freedom that Christ won for us at the cross!  By God's grace, show yourself a man and model the same servant leadership that Christ has shown.

Sisters, we need your help.  We at times have no idea what we're doing or what we need to talk about!  Please trust that God is at work in us and make your confidence in knowing that what God is doing is for our good, your good, and for His glory!  By God's grace, show yourself a woman adorned with true inner beauty and godliness.

And brothers and sisters in Christ, whether you're in a relationship or not, let's do things right in matters of the heart by preparing ourselves for the ultimate wedding - the marriage supper of the Lamb of God who showed such love that He laid down His life for us!

Currently Listening The Lime CD By David Crowder Band Make a Joyful Noise/I Will Not Be Silent see related

How are Christian bookstores doing?

While taking a break for studying for my Renal ICARE midterm (which, by the way, turned out astonishingly well – praise God!) I glanced over the magazine section of the school’s library and was captivated and curious about Christianity Today’s cover-story entitled “How to Save the Christian Bookstore.”  The subtitle is what sparked the curiosity because sadly I tend to be distracted by the biblical illiteracy Christian bookstores today have, and when you read the subtitle I trust this will come to you as no shock either.  How can one save the Christian bookstore (CB)?  “Hint: Stop making it so religious.” 

How did Cindy Crosby, the author of this article, come across with the mindset that today’s Christian bookstore needs to stop being “so religious”?  Well, based off of her introduction, the author mentions about a couple who owned a Christian bookstore (along with three others) since 1983 and they carried supplies such as Communion bread, books; they “talked with seekers, prayed with those who were hurting, did impromptu counseling, and hosted… pastors’ breakfast meals,” all to which I think is a great idea for this bookstore and many others for!  The result is shocking; the last sentence reads, “Today, not one of the four is left.”  One question, two words: what happened? 

According to the Christian Booksellers Association (CBA), only 98 stores were added to the organization (compared to 589 in 2006, an 83% decline!) and 160 stores closed in 2007 (compared to 286 in 2006 and 337 in 2005).  Why?  Should we dismiss the statistics and follow the counsel of Mark Twain and believe that the “Christian bookstore’s demise may be exaggerated”?  I don’t think so; given the rampant ungodliness that permeates our culture and sadly, some of these bookstores, we need to have a cautious eye to see the direction of the business and popularity of these CBs.  It’s no surprise to walk in and hear alternative music that’s minimally redemptive and seeing a large display case of Joel Osteen’s Becoming a Better You, which is not a Christian book (and that’s for another time). 

Speaking of music, Crosby brings up an interesting point about how music sales are dwindling at a fast rate given the digital access to these albums, artists, or songs.  She also mentions about how Internet bookstores (i.e. Amazon and Christianbook.com) are continuing to nibble away at profits because of the lower prices they offer compared to the retail price at CBs.  I’ll admit that it’s expensive; I bought two CD’s about two and a half years ago, with the total being around $33 when I can get some of the songs I like from those CD’s at around $15 on iTunes!  Jim Seybert, a California-based consultant, states that from a survey conducted from Christian Retail magazine, 41% of the people report frequenting CBs less and less.  The reasons: more convenience of shopping online (more than 20% of where CB profits are ; pricing; and selection issues.  Britt Beemer, president of America’s Research Group, suggests that the problem is a visibility problem; if customers cannot find the location with ease, they simply will take their business elsewhere!  As a result, the business of CBs are frail, stores are locking up for the very last time, and former Logos Bookstore manager Jay Weygandt says that customers “feel like one of their family members has died.”

Later on Weygandt also mentions about Kindle, the electronic reading device that can store 200 e-books at a time (see what pharmacy students missed out on?!).  And the price also is much less than retail; for example he downloaded an NIV Bible onto his Kindle, when some range to about $50!  Anderson reports of a massive reconstruction of CBs and “we are looking for new business models, new formulas.  We have to rethink, reposition, and rework.”  For what?  Because retailers aren’t showing up?  Crosby then transitions into problems associated with publishers; publishers are tempted to publish books that only large chains can sell… at least 10,000 copies!

Have CBs really died?  Most of the independent CBs, which makes up 46% of CBA’s current retail membership, are now following the same pattern that independent pharmacies are doing with chains.  Namely, they’re either consolidating their business and join marketing groups, or they just sell their business altogether.  In addition, I’m slightly confused about the position when Bill Anderson, president of CBA, suggests that “most Christian… stores are not just surviving – many are thriving.”  Praise God that some CBs are still in business; here’s their secret: these stores “have created a unique shopping experience and made real connections with their customers so that there is clear value to shopping in their stores.”  In other words, employees who work in Christian bookstores offer biblical customer service.  I remember stopping at a CB on the way back from an interview and the only two people in the store were the lady working behind the counter and myself.  And sadly, not to grumble or anything, but having her stand behind the counter was not quality customer service.  Even unbelievers believe in the importance of offering excellent customer service!  Why do people think they have new employees for chain stores or supermarkets watch less than impressive introduction videos (in my opinion, at least!)?  Because they want to elevate the importance of the customer!  Is it to drain the customers’ wallets?  I sure hope not!  It’s to, whether they acknowledge it or not, motivate their new employees to live out the second greatest commandment – love your neighbor!  Serve them; consider their opinion, wherever legitimate, more significant than your own!  And if unbelievers excel in this – how much more should those who are united by faith in Jesus Christ, who have the ability to obey the second greatest commandment because of gladly obeying the first – loving GOD! 

But what does this all have to do with not making the bookstore so religious to begin with?  Zondervan’s VP Vern Kenney mentions about how “a healthy CBA bookstore will know who they are and what their value equation is – and this might have a lot of different looks.”  Different looks?  Here’s an example: House of James in Abbotsford, British Colombia.  A 7,200 square foot store that hosts a variety of musicians, carrying items ranging from cookbooks to hiking guides that “non-Christians will recognize… otherwise,” according to owner Lando Klassen, “our stores can be pretty scary to some, too foreign.  I am always looking at how I can give people more reasons to come in… Folks are looking for something different.  We should surprise and delight our customers.”  I appreciate Klassen’s desire to reach out to others, but to provide every single amenity possible to finally bringing the gospel to bear?  Something about that doesn’t seem right.  What is he more concerned about: maintaining a business or winning lost souls to Christ?  Christians are supposed to be scary and foreign, because that’s who we are in Christ when surrounded by a rebellious culture!  They have no clue why we choose Christ over any pleasurable, fleeting sin!  So if fear is the reason why Klassen wants to keep his business, then feel free, but sooner or later the gospel will be brought forth into the light.  And like me, whether he likes it or not, God will bring the gospel to bear witness to our dark and dying world.  If we want to be different, follow the advice of our Savior, “Go home and tell them all that the Lord has done for you, and how much he has shown mercy” (Mark 5:19).  That brings me to tears when I think about all that God has done for me, and that should be the same for Klassen and for the rest of us.  You want to surprise and delight your customers?!  Hold up the gospel – THAT’S something that isn’t bland and predictable!

Exhibit B: SKIA.  Upon reading this, I think this was a pretty cool store.  I mean 10 TV screens with skateboard and snowboard videos with Christian themes?!  Coffee and smoothie bar?  FREE wi-fi?!  Look out SKIA; once this bad boy gets a brandy new pair of chucks, I’ll fly down to Bentonville, Arkansas and sport them out for the glory of God – I ’M THERE!  On a side note, I’ve never done either skateboarding or snowboarding; I’m too much of a sissy to scab my knee and am slightly afraid of speed.  Since I’m 22, I’ve lost my prime, so it’s back to rollerblades and bike rides!  But the design of this store is very cool!  Hip!  Psahhhh dude!  Very culturally relevant!  This store, check this out, has a “build your own board” area.  900 square feet of the sweetest gear possible!  But here’s the problem – where’s the Christian merchandise?  Where’s Jesus?  Bill Beyer, owner of SKIA, says that “our heart… beats for the younger generation.  We don’t want it to be just a store you come into to buy Christian stuff.  The core is the ministry – changing lives.  SKIA is where you can come and be ministered to when the church is closed.”  I want to believe that they have good intentions on reaching out – what does that look like?  Is it pointing that 16 year-old dude who’s struggling with popularity to realize that the only acceptance he needs has been given to him freely as a gift by faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ, or is it helping him hit a 720 on his ‘board?  Or how about that 14 year-old girl who wants to pursue biblical femininity and purity?  Does ministering involve giving her a makeover, or is it helping her to realize that because of God’s mercy she can refuse conforming to this world and instead choosing to be transformed by the renewing of her mind by discerning the will of God?

Exhibit C: C28.  C28 is an 11-store chain that sells alternative clothing for late teens and young adults; their employees may have spiked hair, piercings, and tattoos, so be careful.  And by the way, comptroller Kevin Miller mentions that some of the employees “pray with their customers who come into the store, though, and tell them about Jesus… a lot of kids will never go to church, but they will go to the mall, and we can break down the barriers there.  When customers tell us, ‘I heard you are the store that prays for people’ – that’s where the joy comes from.”  My response is a mixed one.  Giving them the benefit of the doubt, sharing the gospel in the midst of a worldly environment is compelling and encouraging for all of us to reach out to customers (or any unbeliever) with the gospel and to show biblical compassion and care by praying for unbelievers, loving unbelievers, and sharing unbelievers.  At the same time, I think this says a whole lot about our culture today, especially as church attendance rates are dropping and faith is increasing in individualization and suffering the effects of post-modernism and more importantly, the Fall.  So yes, let’s pray for unbelievers and win them over to and for Christ by loving them, serving them, caring for them, praying for and with them, and sharing the true gospel with them – that Jesus came as the God-man to be nailed onto a cross to satisfy God’s righteous and furious wrath for their sins, thereby offering forgiveness of sins, Jesus’ perfect righteousness imputed to us freely, and receiving the gift of eternal life and fellowship with God from now throughout all eternity.  And from that, let’s encourage them to participate in a local church where the true gospel is preached week in and week out, and lived out on a daily basis.

So, closing thoughts on Christian bookstores – yes, let’s watch where they go.  And yes, let’s stop making it “so religious” and encourage them to do the same.  Here’s how that can be done: let’s live out the gospel.  The gospel has nothing to do with what we do or can do; it’s all about what Jesus has done by setting us free from sin, freely giving us eternal life and fellowship with God himself, and living by faith on a daily basis.  And from that, we have the power and freedom to live our lives that please God, whether that does involve skateboarding, sipping a mango smoothie, or sporting your chucks for the glory of God in the clothing section.

Maybe you can relate to this scenario...

Your alarm sounds off at 6AM and the battle begins.  "Should I go back to sleep because of waking up during the night?  What about checking e-mail?  I really don't feel like seeking God!  ANOTHER DAY?!"  Those thoughts circulate your mind, yet God kindly leads you to putting your gym pants and shoes on, and the prayer walk with God commences.  You pour out your heart to him and explain the confusion and chaos that is erupting in your world.  Life seems overwhelming, there's ambiguity in relationships and dryness in your passion for the Savior, and weakened sins are gaining momentum in your heart.  The worst part is you believe that God is too busy to hear your prayers and one more sincere, "Please help me, Lord" will result in what you think is an angry "CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY?!  I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOU!"  If you think you're alone, you aren't...

And thankfully, neither am I.  Those above situations describe what happened this morning and I'm confident in the lives of other dear brothers and sisters as the war within continues.  And yet, by God's grace, many others (myself included) have cried out for a word to buoy our hearts.  Praise God he answered; I've been so much more at peace today than I've been this past week.  And what's even more remarkable, the Savior knows.  HE KNOWS YOUR STRUGGLES AND BURDENS YOU'RE IN! If this somehow speaks to you, I believe God has this to say to you, and may these tender words freshly amaze you and restore your weary soul:

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." - Matthew 11:28-30

May those compassionate words encourage you to find refuge under the shadow of his cross, where true peace is found, and encourage you to keep striving forward in anticipation of that eternal rest (Hebrews 4:9-11). 

My hope (and I trust ultimately God's hope) is that he would help you to find rest and refuge in Him alone (Psalm 31:1).  I hope that somehow that Isaiah 50:4 has been fulfilled through this post. 

To God be all the glory -

Brian

P.S.  Photos of the Super Bowl Party at Bob's and others will be posted shortly; stay tuned!  How 'bout 'dem Pats?!

Currently Listening United We Stand By Hillsong From the Inside Out see related

Memories of 2007

Well, another year coming to a close and in spite of all of my innumerable sins God was and is still faithful to further conform me into the image of Christ!  Time and time again I have squandered moments of when they were ripe opportunities to glorify God, yet those thousands of failed attempts are now met with the mercy of God - what incredibly sweet news!  If you're discouraged about your lack of pursuit in holiness as I am, please for God's glory and your good and advantage - take hold of his indelible grace!

Another thing, write down the times when God has proven his faithfulness to you, as I will do shortly (not to show off, but to set another "yearstone" as the Israelites were encouraged to do in Joshua 4).  So, without further ado, a flashback throughout 2007:

·         The Quest: A Journey through Biblical Masculinity men's conference in Hershey, PA earlier in the year

o    C.B.'s incredible wardrobe and passionate joy in Jesus Christ

o    Aron's growing in leadership - SO thankful to God for that man (in spite of his support of the Eagles!)

o    Meeting new brothers from Sovereign Grace Church in Cherry Hill, NJ

·         Meeting a former Muslim saved by God's incredible grace during church!

·         Meeting other godly bros and sisters and growing in our sibling affection for one another

·         PROTOS!!!!  YEAH!!!

·         Torrey and Carrie Moe moving to Leesburg

·         The concert at Sovereign Grace Church in Fairfax featuring (formerly) John Reilly Band, West Coast Revival, and VOICE!!!!!  CHEA!

·         21^st birthday exhortation from Scripture: take fast hold of instruction.  PROTECT IT, for she is your LIFE!

·         "No condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1), what sweet news

·         "Because sin as connected with human flesh has been dealt with by God, all danger from it, all possible condemnation for those in Christ Jesus, is over.”   - William Newell

·         If it’s wet, dry it; if it’s dry, wet it – the basic principle of topical pharmaceutics… thanks Dr. Newton!

·         Progression through the Hebrews series, sadly but joyously concluded yesterday

·         The new and better sound system!

·         Reciting Galatians from memory!

·         A hefty tax refund; praise God for his provision!

·         Being asked to be a family group leader at Na!  What a joy it was to serve them!

·         God proving his faithfulness at Philly International Airport on the day of New Attitude – made it safe and sound!

·         Rooming with Mike Holcomb AGAIN!  Sweet times worshipping with that guy!

·         The Idol Factory!  What a convicting and glorious message!

·         JOHN PIPER at New Attitude!  “Call upon the name of the Lord”… for what?  MORE GRACE!

·         Working at Walgreens over the summer and completing the 200 hours needed

·         DAVID KNIZEWSKI AND ELISSA NOWLAND GETTING MARRIED!!!!!! J

·         Grace Community in Souderton sending a mission team to Aguascalientes, Mexico and to see their joy in serving this local church

·         Sending Zac and Melanie Martin to Pastor’s College (along with Kirk Whitworth and Mike Pasalich in Ashburn)

·         Rugby with the bros in Souderton… and growing with them

·         Connect meetings! 

·         Seeking God’s will and counsel from other bros about a possible courtship (see second to last bullet)

·         God providing for my auto insurance and mechanic repairs… AGAIN!  And through it, growing my financial stewardship

·         YC ’07: Consumed!  What a great time that was, especially to pray over brothers and other families who want to make their hearts glad in God

·         Catching up with old friends in Ashburn (in more ways than one)

·         Labor Day picnic à what a God-blessed, God-glorifying day that was! 

·         MEMORIZED HEBREWS!!!!!!  WHAT A GREAT, GLORIOUS, WEIGHTY BOOK THAT IS!

·         Catching up with old friends in Winchester and ready to pursue holiness

·         Going to DC with the Woods and forced to drink a Vanilla Bean Frappucino

·         6^th year anniversary!  Happy anniversary Grace Community Church!

·         PROCLAIM!  Great evangelism tool!

·         Trusting God – I commend it highly for your studying and re-studying

·         Being used by God to encourage the youth in Scripture memory – and the unexpected, God-glorifying responses from adults of those youth

·         Caring for a dear sister of mine as God closes a door in her life

·         3 years of God’s grace in my life on Reformation day!

·         Watching brothers in Souderton GROW and my joy to thank God for them!

·         Courtships and engagements cropping up left and right in Ashburn!  Love is in the air…

·         Sermon on the Mount series –onward it’s going…

·         Gift wrap outreach in Dulles Town Center

·         The peace and trust in God during finals and to see the incredible grades following!  Thank you, God!

·         Rejoicing in the incarnation of Christ – that is incredible!

·         God making his will clear about courting Jocelyn – what a gift she is as a dearly loved daughter of God!

And finally, and the most important and precious reality of 2007… God proving his faithfulness even in the midst of being locked in sin for the past couple of months, and helping me to see that the trials he’s placed me in is for my good, to make me like him, for his glory and my joy and delight.  “Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me…”

Was 2007 wasted?  Sure; some parts were, yet God has purchased them by the blood of his precious Son so that there can be hoped derived from the cross as it relates to my shortcomings.  And even more, there’s hope to change and by the Holy Spirit to love Christ, treasure Christ, share Christ, make much of Christ, ENJOY Christ, and do all things to show that “for me, to live is Christ” and make my death GAIN.  

If you’re discouraged about the lack of godliness cultivated this year – take fast hope in Christ’s cross.  There, all discouragements, bouts of anger, pride, malice, lust, idolatry, and a multitude of other sins you have committed are covered by his blood.  That’s how much the Son of God loves you.  The punishment you and I so richly deserve, our iniquities were placed on him and he was crushed with the Father’s very concentrated and directed wrath.  That’s the Father’s heart for you, yes - YOU!  And the Spirit promises to cleanse us from all sins and enable us to take steps in his grace to conform us to the image of the Savior from one degree of glory to the next!  

WHAT HOPE WE HAVE!  WHAT GREAT NEWS WE HAVE!  Let’s live 2008 in the good of the gospel, holding it up and being used by the Father, Son, and Spirit as salt and light to a dark and dying world!

Winchester here I come!... by the grace of God

Well the long anticipated return to Winchester has finally arrived!  In a few short moments the lengthy 4 hour drive from NJ to VA will commence.  And wow did this summer fly by or what?!

What's to be anticipated this year?  It's almost like the ad Ernest Shackleton printed before his trans-antarctic expedition.  Nothing all fuzzy and delusional, but realistic and expecting inevitable death; and even though my anticipation of P2 year isn't as dark and bleak like Mr. Shackleton, there is some element of reality of what the Lord will do in and through me.  Some thoughts include the following possibilities/certainties:

• losing the approval of others because of following the true Savior who redeems us from sin
• headaches and/or migraines from pouring out energy in studying for that Pharmacokinetics exam or typing that Clinical Research paper
• stepping down from responsibilities in the local church so God can raise up someone else
• being forcefully, yet lovingly, pushed away from center stage so the radiance of the glory of God in the gospel can shine its brightest
• more idols revealed in my heart
• days of leaning on His boundless grace and having a sufficiently contrite heart to lean on Him
• a tighter grasp of the gospel instead of fumbling it by pursuing my own greatness
• a further longing to see the greatness of our God furthered and friends being saved
• seeing and being totally satisfied in Christ alone
• finding Him as the true tower of refuge, stronghold, shield, and fortress that can never be shaken!
• humility further cultivated due to the Spirit-empowered charging after the root of pride
• pursuing godly excellence and ambition

What are some of your anticipated thoughts as you head back to your campus?  Friends redeemed by the blood of Christ?  Ridicule for the sake of Christ?  Further serving in the context of the local church?  Cultivating godliness or enhancing one of the gifts the Spirit has given to you?

Is there a sense of fear as this trip commences?  Of course!  But by the grace of God, I know Him who said "These things I have spoken to you so that in Me you may have peace.  In the world you will have trials, but take courage, I have overcome the world" (John 16:33).  Be encouraged as you head back to campus with impending trials, exams, tensions.  Although these events are inevitably to be unfolded, it's not too difficult for our God to step in and guide us through; in fact He created those trials so we can find further joy and satisfaction in Him.  I love that old hymn where the one line goes, "Hast thou not seen how thy desires 'ere have been gladly in what He ordaineth?".  May that question be responded with a passionately peaceful "yes".

By the grace of God I'm going back to Winchester ready to accomplish all this semester has to offer.  Yet not in my own strength but by the grace of God that is in me!

On a different note pictures of JBell getting soak'd will be coming shortly.  Thankfully I'll be 200+ miles away so now I can jeer the Eagles and Yankees without any sense of fear!