Currently Watching The Incredible Hulk [Theatrical Release] By Edward Norton see related

Bite The Dust

So, seriously. I went for dinner last night; they went to k, I came home, by 9:30pm I was asleep. 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Bliss.

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Thursday night. Get home from dinner at Seoul BBQ with Ken and Sheryl... bum around downstairs watching Californication, come upstairs to apply for my 63rd job (feels more like the 60676765358th job really), next morning, leave house for work, notice my dad's car is gone.

Apparently, some moron strolled into my place (must have left the door unlocked somehow), took my mom's bag and dad's wallet and keys (while all 5 of us were still upstairs, mind you), and strolled back out again, this time with my dad's Lexus GS300. The audacity! Hope the fella gets ass raped in jail.

In a tribute to my Facebook addiction, I have created an event to search for the missing car on the streets of Perth. Do look out for it.

Currently Watching Wedding Daze By Jason Biggs see related

Peachy

Last week it was green; this week it's blue - I seem to be going through the whole colour spectrum of emotions...

Just not in the best mood; a small matter, and I do acknowledge that hey, I was probably wrong *gasp*, but did it really warrant that kind of reaction? Maybe I'm just tired of having to defend this; maybe high maintenance-ism is just more effort than its worth, and maybe that's why I'm exceptionally narky about this today.

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The 'what if we run out of things to say to each other' question is one I have contemplated so many times before meeting someone; heck it was one of the questions I asked Ken when we first started dating. We never really do, perhaps because I'm so afraid of conversation killing silences that I can conjure up topics faster than the archetypal magician conjures up rabbits - even when there's really nothing to say anymore. Surely, though, conversation is not bottomless - surely there's only that many feelings, experiences, thoughts, emotions, ideas, and stories that you can tell one person in your lifetime.

I'm having difficulty with the simple question 'did you have fun'. Fun? What's fun anymore? Too much same old. Too much mindless activity; doing something, doing something, doing something. Dizzy giddy nights. Too many screaming conversations shouted over the music, or over the heads of other screaming people. Too many remarks to make you laugh. Too little things of importance to say. But that's also because conversational constipation has never been more apparent than now - although I find people who never 'probe'/'pry' into your life e.g. "So what are you doing now?" at a first meeting a bit rude, at the same time, there are only so many times you want to hear about what someone is doing now.

I seem to be going in circles. I don't like this, yet I am it, etc. I guess what I want to say is, I complain that I don't get enough D&M, one on one, talk time because I'm always busy-ing myself with ThingsThingsThings. Yet I feel that I don't have anything to talk about to anyone anymore and ergo, the fear that I will just one day run out of conversation completely. It's so much easier just to watch a movie, or go to a club, or hey, what the hell, just go to sleep.

*Reading back on this post, I don't even know if I'm saying what I'm still trying to say. How come my mode of expression is so inadequate to express what I actually think and feel? Methinks it is time to take up interpretative dance. Ha.

Currently Watching The Spiderwick Chronicles [Blu-ray] By Freddie Highmore, Sarah Bolger, Nick Nolte, Mary-Louise Parker, Joan Plowright see related

Turn Back Time.

*Whinge Alert* (what's new)

If you had the benefit of hindsight, what kind of sage advice would you give yourself, standing in this position, your 6th year out of high school? Let's play the What If game one more time; What If you could tell yourself 5 things you should do, irregardless of whether you would have heeded your own advice, that would make your life better now? I would have said...

1. &^%* SIA.

2. Do vac work. You're going to end up applying for articles anyway, you idiot. Quit bitchin' about law and just get on with it.

3. Go on exchange even more than you already did. Go to cooler places like Sweden, and London, and Finland on exchange.

4. Do business Mandarin at Tafe. Have you never realised the strength of the China economy, you dumbass? Oh, right, you don't, coz you never read the news.

5. Start saving for a home early, early, on.

How very practical indeed. Instead, I lived in a bubble, working in jobs with no relation to anything, really, so I could earn pocket money to fund my next trip to Singapore/HK/China/New York, with no savings to show after, and not even that many countries travelled in the end. Instead, I idealistically saw myself as the next big thing on Singapore Airlines, smiling through all the midnight flights, jetsetting through with my digital camera and the Eiffel Tower alight in the background. Instead, I thought, hey, everything just 'works out' in the end, and what do grades really matter, and why are all these idiots doing things just for their resume's sake? I thought, Woohoo. Let's get drunk.

But people really DO make things work out. They get scholarships. They do relevant work. They save well in advance. They apply for jobs before finishing uni. They get headhunted. They do resume building. They buy houses. They work in big name firms. They go travelling in farflung parts of the world. They do their Masters IN farflung parts of the world. They get married with big diamonds. They are 23 and earn ^%&*ing $200k/year.

They live smart.

You know all that stuff about how it's never too late? Yeah, well, it is, a bit.

From all the things I did in my 5.5 years, I only believe the last. Woohoo. Let's get drunk. (But judging from Saturday's shocking and embarrassing 'I can't believe they still want to be my friends!' performance, 'alledgedly' sitting, one hand down my throat, on the Metros steps, alcohol may not be the world's most intelligent solution either)

I never thought I worried about money as much as I think I do now.

I looked up the world's highest paying jobs without qualifications (see how pathetic I have become?) and air traffic controller topped the list. Hmm, maybe I should apply...

Currently Watching You Don't Mess With the Zohan [Theatrical Release] By Adam Sandler see related

Time After Time

I seem to have a compartmentalised brain which needs warming up a majority of the time.

If I haven't subconsciously psyched myself up to go to something, my brain doesn't seem to be able to process the impromptu going-to-a-party information, and so I'm more likely to pass on the invite and just rot at home happily. If I've just gotten home from something and someone suddenly rings me to hang out, chances are, I'm not just going to leave the house, coz I'm already home!

It's even more so nowadays, because recently I've been feeling that time is more precious to me, and I like to have the luxury of planning ahead. Which is why most people who want me to do impromptu things usually just seem to appear at my front door and do 'house visits'. I think this is probably also why some people think I plan a lot of events; I don't really, I just like everyone to have time to get psyched up too!

I know this makes me sound uber anal and superbly inflexible and rigid, but you know when I said the most important factor is spontaneity? I think I lied. Crap.

So I apologise to all those people who call me out for dinner and I don't go. Oops

(http://morph.cs.st-andrews.ac.uk/Transformer/)

Currently Watching Kung Fu Panda [Blu-ray] By Jack Black, Jackie Chan, Dustin Hoffman, Lucy Liu, Ian McShane see related

The Boring-fication of Sherlene Heng.

It is approximately 39 minutes before my second last assessment for my midcourse onsite, and I just Cannot Bring Myself To Be Bothered About It.

I quite liked my life last year; I was meeting more people than ever, I'd lost a drinking buddy but found another one, clubbing was great fun, and we sang k every week. And I think more importantly, I had a target in mind; that in January I would be flying the world. Post January, my blog has become simply, an annoying rant. Today is no different, except today's is about self inflicted, masochistic, competitiveness.

There used to be personality surveys that I did that asked "How much do the successes of your peers affect you?" and you could choose Not At All, A Bit, A Lot, etc, you get the idea... And naively, I used to say, No, it doesn't, I achieve for my personal gratification, etc, all that kind of bullshit that you say when you feel you ARE going to be an achiever... But don't get me wrong, while I AM happy with what successes my peers have achieved, and happy for all those who have made big and brave decisions, this happiness is at the forefront of a lot of selfish envy i.e. "%^&$, What about ME?"

A few years ago, when Friendster was 'fashionable', I, embarrassingly, used to Friendster-surf a lot. I was one of those people who set their profiles to 'invisible' just for this purpose. And then I found I was actually getting 'depressed', for want of a better word, over the fact that there were all these 'real people' i.e. not Photoshopped, airbrushed, retouched, out there who were damn hot.

Years on from Friendster, the social network of choice is now Facebook. And years on, I no longer really care so much about what these Friendster-now-Facebook people look like. But I still Facebook-surf, and my envy is now directed towards people who travel. And with my background, I have a LOT of people on my Facebook who travel, and a LOT of people who spend weekends away, or kitesurf, or skydive, or whatever it is they do. And Europe. Europe. Europe. Every Single Bloody Person seems to be going to Europe!

Which is why I wanted to be an air stewardess in the first place.

It's not like I can't go; sure, I don't have a lot of savings, but I have enough if I wanted to go on a semi-budget holiday. But the balance is now whether I should save up these small amounts to use as a deposit for my first home, or if I should go away! Does practicality always win!? It's just small amounts; a thousand here, a thousand there, but these thousands are what depleted all my savings from part time jobs every year! It's like; I'm not traveling, and neither am I earning, and I'm in a position where I'm getting nowhere either way.

I REALLY want to travel. I really want to go to Egypt and see the pyramids, or back to China and eat yang rou chuan by the roadside, or to Japan and see the crazy kitsch shops they have there, or Russia by train, or London and take photos next to those guards, or France and eat croissants, or Mexico and drink tequila, or Switzerland and pretend I know how to ski, or Scandinavia to be freaking cold and see the northern lights from Finland, or trekking in Antarctica ($100000), or to Vietnam because everything's so cheap, or California and Las Vegas for the glitz, or possibly even India, just for that crazy dirty crowdedness. There are 249 countries in the world and I've only been to 9; not all of which even count since I'm in Australia and I have never even been to Melbourne!

One Powerball...