|
squeebz
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Jessie
Birthday: 3/2/1990
Gender: Female
Interests: I love listening to music, drawing whatever I'm feeling at the time and just playing around online. I hang out with my friends and create memories and read to broaden my mind and increase creativity. Love life for it's simplest offerings and you will achieve an untouchable bliss.
Expertise: Being a loser, pervert,stupid,silly,annoying, but ultimately myself.
Occupation: daughter, friend, and student.
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  kyle2toni
AIM:  rockstarscupcake
AIM:  sadashii
Member Since:
6/30/2007
|
|
| Watching the Leaves Fall~Autumn A short and sweet post....to the point. I probably won't do another one till Thanksgiving comes around.
~Hopefully!
An update on the whole me "going gamer"....OMFG, I am so addicted to my Crash Bandicoot game. I know that it's like an older character or whatever, but it's awesome...I love it. As for my Sonic game...thing fucking cheats. I swear it does. There's like one part where Sonic gets chased by this killer whale, and I keep messing up at the same part...where I have to jump from like board to broken board to get to...god knows where, because I never made it past that part...so yeah, I spend my time playing Crash. I want to get Mirrors Edge (by some point of my life), mostly because it seems really interesting.
Moving on...
I've been having the strangest urge to "weed out" some people from my life. It's odd because I've never experianced this feeling before, but I must say that I don't hate it. I have roughly seven people that I invest my time in on a decent basis (not daily, just people I care for the most), and everyone else kind of lingers in the background. My thought process here is what if I got rid of the background people, and just decided to put myself towards those that I care most for? Sad thing is...I would eventually miss those other people...eventually. That, and I'm not the type of person to just say "get the fuck out of my life"...not without a good reason anyways.
~Sigh.
Oh well...put that off till a later date.
I don't know why, but I have been extremely tired lately. And it's nothing like lack of sleep, pulling all-nighters or anything. I sleep through the night, wake up the next morning and do a few things and then all of a sudden it's like someone pulled the plug on my energy supply and I just *crash. It's annoying when you have homework assignments that you need to work on. Example: I had to work on a Library assignment ~that was due today~ and I just couldn't concentrate for shit on what I was reading. I already know that the post I had made was crap, but I just couldn't understand what I was reading because my mind would become hazy.
And now, my room is at like a lovely 80 degrees...which makes me want to go night night at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, lol. I should start working on my first draft for the third essay for english, or maybe the research paper for psychology...but I just cannot concentrate on anything...(unless it's video games or AIM chatting). Grr, I am being lazy again...at least there's nothing to study for right now...all I need to do is make sure that I read Chapter 15 and do some stretches before going to sleep.
A few other things I want to comment on and then I think I will go and read or play...something, I don't know.
~November 21 - Shasta ~my puppy~ turns one year old.
~A friend of mine comes back home for Winter vacation in a week or so, and I cannot wait...because I will have people to hang out with. *cheers*
~I recently got 5 new books...bringing my total up to like 8 or 9 that I need to read...and I am still working on the one book for English. XC
~I am lonely. *cries* Oh well, I'll get over it...I have an Xbox to love me now.
Andddddddd....that's about all I have to say for now.
~Toodles
| | |
| Wallowing in Complexity  
I must say that things have been both boring and a bit entertaining this last week. Well, today is kind of like my friday (for the time being), since I only have classes on Tuesday and Thursday. A majority of this week has been spent just on trying to clear up all the assignments that I've had to do, and doing so before Thursday steam rolls my ass.
I had a week to finish all these assignments:
(let's see if I can remember them all)
~Study Three Psychology chapters (just to catch up), and study for the exam
~Work on the final draft for English, print TurnItIn report
~Work on Journal #2 for The Bone Woman
~Work on library assignments for Unit 5
~Work on brochure for general studies
~Finish discussion boards for general studies, reply to someone's post
~Work on critical thinking paper for general studies
Hmm, you know...it looks like a lot less now that it's all in a list (and that it's all completed, for the most part).
Anyways, today was pretty interesting. I had my second psychology exam and I must say...I most likely tanked on it. My friends, bless their hearts, kept saying that I was going to do fine and that I didn't need to worry about anything. Lol, guess they don't know what happens when you don't study for an exam and somewhat study the night before. That funniest yet worst part was that their were all of four questions from the one lecture that I did know the best. Soooooo, at least I know I got four questions right. *runs and cries in shame*
After that catastrophy ended, I had to use part of my two-hour break to go and select, then photo-copy an article for a research paper I needed to do. (Since the damn experiments were scheduled for days I'm not even on the campus, the paper is the alternative) Kevin, Katherine, Gerpreet and myself had a fun time trying to locate the periodical section of the library. (We even got a map to help us find it) Once we found the right section, I pulled out the paper I wrote the call numbers down on, Gerpreet and myself went to search for them. Kevin opted to do the paper as well, so I wasn't sure why he didn't come WITH us to pick out books. ~Lazy fart!
Gerpreet and I pulled four books off the shelf, all under the journal of abnormal psychology and social psychology. I had two books, and she hah two, so we made our way back to the table that Kevin & Katherine were sitting at. Gerpreet actually found me an interesting article to do, and Kevin found one that satisfied him, so we headed over to the little copy area to try and photo-copy the pages we needed. (Because you cannot check the books out) OMG! It took us 43 minutes until we figured out how to copy them right, lol. That was such a special moment, to which I never want to experiance again.
So we get our articles copied, return the books and then Gerpreet, Kevin and myself just hang out till about 11:30. Katherine left us because she had to complete her final experiment.
English was boring, as usual. Turned in the final draft of my essay and journal #2, then the rest of the day was stuff in our textbooks, a quiz and then she started to review Chapter 15 a little, but ran out of time so it became homework.
Now, onto General Studies. It was our last day of the class. HECK YES! The one piece of news I got that pissed me off so much was that the project (the brochure that I made) was canceled. I had "heard" from Katherine (who has the same GS teacher but on a different day) that the project was canceled for them, but we got no notification for our class, so we didn't know. I told my team members about this, and one of them went and asked the teacher during the break. Turns out *gasp* it wasn't due for us either, that it was actually going to be a project for next quarter. I heard this at least 10 minutes before the GS class started, and that pissed me off because I wasted my time on something I didn't have to.
GS today was mostly the teacher talking about what the next quarter will be like, some reflection of this quarter and then we left. DX That was so pointless....
ALTHOUGH I did get to turn in my critical thinking paper, so it wasn't too bad. Now, if that was canceled...I would have just walked away from the class and went home.
I have to point out one thing on my trip home though, lol. I ran into this really tall asian boy..er man. He wasn't around my age or anything. I didn't realize how tall he was till the BART train came, and he made some comment to me about being to tall, because he had to duck to get on the train. O_O I didn't know they made them that big...lol. That's the first thought that ran through my mind. (I meant people, not his ethnicity or anything) I'm short...and I don't see a lot of tall people too often. So I am a little enthralled whenever I do. It's like finding a dollar on the ground. :D
Anywhooo. Tomorrow I am supposed to start my "training" with sensei, so this should be interesting.
I still have to do the stretches, lol. I keep putting them off.
Friday:
Okay, so most of today I spent at my sensei's house. He's decided to try and teach me some form of martial arts, although I'm apparently fairly weak, so I get to learn a simple version. I am learning something called akiedo (I think that's how it's spelled), and then he teaches me Tai Chi during some of the breaks. If that's not fun enough, I get to talk psychology with him, philosophy eventually as well as art. Although art I believe will turn into a give and take between the two of us, because I can teach him a few things in that area.
What was really interesting, and happened when I was leaving, was he actually gave me some useful information on how to deal with a past relationship. I've been talking about try to get back with an ex-boyfriend of mine (not my most recent one mind you), and I keep hearing the same thing. Just tell him how you feel and see if he want's to try again...blah blah blah! My sensei broke it down a little bit more...
He told me that since my ex-boyfriend is still my friend (and a fairly good one at that), he's not completely against me. I have roughly an 80% chance that he is considering the same thing, and is willing to hear me out. Although it's that last 20% that has me a little nervous, because I know that my ex isn't my biggest fan since I broke up with him. *shrugs* Oh well, just something I have to push myself into asking...
Saturday:
Only one cool thing really happened today and that was I got a christmas present early. I wanted to get an XBox 360, and my mom and myself went out to best buy to check somethings out. She wanted to look into a new DVD/VCR player for the main room, and we were going to check out game consoles as well. Well, she couldn't find what she was looking for, but mine was like center stage. So I got an XBox 360, two games (nothing new...ones a sonic game and the other crash bandicoot. HUSH! ), as well as Hellboy 2 on DVD.
Lol, so that made for one happy Saturday. | | |
| An Artistically Contemplative Individual  
(Aw, I miss using icons. <3)
I haven't really posted a blog in awhile, so I felt that it was necessary that I do so.
I will just start off with school, since that seems to be the one thing everyone always asks me about. Classes are okay, and thankfully I only have about a month left in the ones that I am currently taken. We've been registering for classes for our Winter quarter, so I am more excited to start those classes, only because I registered for a drawing class. I will post my schedule for Winter quarter when it gets closer to my first day of classes.
For the classes I have now, homework and assignments are no joke. As it stands now, I have a critical thinking paper due in my General Studies class, I have to work on my final draft for an English essay, study for my psychology exam that is this upcoming Thursday, as well as work on a project for General studies (that we ended up waiting till the last minute to work on), and a research paper for psychology experiment credit (because it was too much for me to pay around $5 to come up to the campus for experiments). That's the bulk of the work, those are the things that have me a little stressed at the moment.
Some other things would be having to read this novel: The Bone Woman for my english class, and doing journals on certain pages we're assigned. I'm not really intimidated by that because I am already ahead of some other people. It's not too bad, although a lot of people are complaining that it's not interesting, but it seems easy for me to get through. (I just keep saying it's easy for me because reading books is a hobby of mine, which is definately a positive right now, lol) What else do I have to do? Well, there's always redoing my English textbook notes because I typed them up and there are a lot of errors.
I think that's all the work that I need to do, I can't really think of much else that I need to do.
Another thing I want to mention about school. I think getting up at 6 in the morning is starting to take a toll on me, because I generally zone out around English (which is at 12). I'm fully awake for Psychology, but it's not a good thing when you can't focus in the remaining classes, lol. So I seem to have developed my little group of friends it seems. Katherine, Gerpreet, Christine and Kevin, that's the group. There the people I talk to the most and I hang out with regularly. I've already been bothered by some but I am trying to not let anything slip because I cannot afford to lose friends in college, I need people to walk around with.
~Sidenote: I hate having to deal with all the stress that school seems to inflict in my life. My skin is really shitty, pimple-central. Stress causes my skin to break-out, and also triggers an intake of junk food which just seems to add to the menagarie of problems that is my skin.
Okay. Now onto outside of school information.
Where to start...
So I got to hang out with my most recent ex-boyfriend the other day which was the first time in like a month I believe. It was interesting because we just walked around a bit and talked about literally nothing. He told me some silly stories about things in his life, asked about school (everyone does. @_@), and we talked about some other things that I can't remember. Overall, it was like two friends who just needed to get out of the house. Although he didn't seem to have any problem still hugging me, should have revoked that privlege.
Anyways, he told me something interesting prior to deciding to leave. He just said "My ex-girlfriend loves me." Honestly, I didn't really care, because I knew he wasn't talking about me. Turned out he was talking about the girl that deleted me off of his myspace ~Michelle Davis. I got to know an interesting little snack of information about her, she is territorial over Pretty Kitty (this I already knew), but she actually still texts me saying that she loves him and misses him even if she has a boyfriend (or just a guy, whatever). What the hell is that crap about? I didn't take a lot of time to dwell on it, I just thought it was amusing.
So then after that, we just hug and he catches BART back home. I walk about a few minutes towards my house before I text him saying not to tell me anything about his ex-girlfriends, considering I am one now. He said he was sorry, but he also asked me if there would ever be a time when I'd allow him to be my boyfriend again? Huh! A month later and he's just now asking this. No straight answers were exchanged but I must say I am now interested in seeing how the future plays out
ALTHOUGH, there is a bit of a problem there...
On to my next topic of an older ex-boyfriend but he's earned the new title of good friend so I shall address him accordingly. My (not-so-little) Kenai. I'm really surprised for someone that got dumped by me we seem to be catching up where we left off, lol. Since he doesn't live anywhere near me our relationship is over the computer, particularly AIM. He's been coming on more frequently and I don't know if that's a good thing or not really. He's great though, he's helped me out a lot but he's the other that I am indecisive about. See, before Pretty Kitty posed his whole "taking him back" question, I was going to ask Kenai the same thing, if he would take me back. Lol, cute little love triangle going on, right? So right now, I am pretty much just remaining neutral because I don't know what the hell to do, and am a bit lost.
What could make this even more interesting???
Throw in a third boy. =)
If you think I am kidding, you are mistaken.
The plus side is this third boy, I don't have a strong interest in, not anything like the other two. This one is actually my sensei (teacher). He knows a lot about psychology, philosophy, art and martial arts and he plans to train me in all the topics. Sounds fun right? We haven't started "training" yet because I have been really busy with schoolwork and stuff, so yeah. I am hoping to meet up with him sometime later this week if it's possible. He's, um...interesting. He's partially involved in my little boy cocktail because we have like this hidden bond that's a little wierd. We clicked a lot like me and my most recent ex did, but on a more mental level. (If that makes ANY sense). An interesting fact for you people, he's a dominant. Meaning he likes to have control and gets off on breaking submissives. (Guess who the submissive is???)
So yeah, he's my sensei. (Lol, and possibly my owner if he ever does get me that collar).
[Rockstar: this is the same guy I told you about. Still up for meeting him, I kind of spaced badly, sorry about that.]
What else can I talk about?
Well, I have been getting back into doing my artwork. I've posted some of my recent stuff on my DeviantArt account. GO CHECK IT OUT:
http://littlemissjay.deviantart.com
I am trying to get into realism again, although I don't think it's something I can ever master. I also need to work on my anatomy work but I need references for that. I can do some body parts like hands and feet from my tricks I learned but they are still a bit rough.
So yeah, that's my update for now. I cannot wait until 2009 starts. Heads-up, I am starting a journal then so I will be writing more personal things there instead of here. (I.E All the boy information, depression statements, and a lot of the things hidden using private) So my posts may be far and few between, but I will come back to check comments. No worries, there's still a month and a half till that happens. | | |
| Fun Called on Account of RainSo it is officially the first day of November. To me that means only two more months remaining in 2008, a good friend's birthday approaching and the my classes will be coming to a close in the following month.
Taking a look back at the other day: Halloween, I have to say that it left a lot to be desired this year. No trick-or-treating, or even hanging out with a cluster of friends, just something simple.
I originally planned to go out to the movies with some friends, but wasn't sure of who would actually be willing to go. Well a few things have been happening to sculpt the final group which came down to Rockstar & Quechan.
Ahh! But there's a twist to the story.
Quechan was supposed to call me the day before Halloween to see if he could hang out with Rockstar and myself, and he never called. Nor did he show up to hang out with us on Halloween. What a disappointment.
Halloween:
I started off the morning sick, not feeling to well for some unknown reason. My dad ended up coming home at like 9:30 AM so I was pretty much just stuck in my room for a good deal of the day. I learned how to color some of my drawings on my computer, and posted them to my deviant art account. I read a little but mostly just lounged and contemplative because I wasn't feeling decent. Prior to Rockstar arriving at my house, I had a conversation with a friend of mine to which he mostly just talked to me about psychology. He analyzed me and told me why I do some of the things that I do. (I almost fell asleep multiple times, and he noticed that).
Rockstar arrives around 4:30 (that's my guess). We hang out a little bit, just talking before taking a trip over to Taco Bell down the way of our old highschool. I was glad to have the outting outside because I was trapped in my room earlier. We got back, ate and watched 30 Days of Night. (FINALLY! A decent vampire movie). That was the bulk of my halloween right there.
Once my mom was done passing out candy to trick-or-treaters and having some graveyard pudding, we took Rockstar home.
I just took a shower when we came home and tried to go to sleep. I succeeded until my dog started barking and that was the end of that, so I went online. I got to talk with two people that I wasn't too excited to talk to. One being the friend that I had talked with earlier and the other being my ex.
First conversation I need to comment on was the one with my ex. He's taken on this "mission" of trying to make me happy, but we ended up diving into a conversation about how/why we broke-up and all that stuff once again. This time some information was brought out that apparently wasn't heard before, but it still felt like opening old wounds. I'm "supposed" to be hanging out with him sometime on Tuesday, after classes, but I'm not holding my breath. (A lot of disappointments have been happening, so my faith is rapidly dwindling) Every since that conversation I have been thinking about what we talked about and am trying to get it out of my mind, but I think there's still stuff that needs to be settled. (Will it ever truly end? Will it ever be solved)
The second conversation with my friend revolved mostly about the conversation early, and him trying to cheer me up when I really wasn't willing to comply. He was deemed himself a dominator, and with that views me as submissive (which isn't completely false), so whenever I push back he gets a little mad. He was trying to call me and talk to me to make me smile but I refused to turn my phone on, and refused to see him today so he gave up.
(THANK GOD!) Nothing more horrendous then being made to smile when you just want to sulk for a little while.
And with that I close my Halloween.
*We are currently experiance a storm where I live, so far we've seen wind and rain. For that, I am happy* | | |
| I've Been Tagged!The rules of this game are pretty simple. If you are tagged you need to create a post giving away 10 random facts about yourself. After that you need to go out and tag 10 people and get them involved. Simple, right?
Was tagged by: Wanipoo
10 Random Facts About Me:
1.) I will only eat chocolate on my period.
2.) I know how to make myself depressed, but not how to make myself happy.
3.) As much as I complain about my dog, I really wouldn't be able to get rid of her.
4.) I sing out loud when I'm not in the best mood, or when I am trying to avoid thinking about something.
5.) I hate talking on the phone, but I will never turn down a text message.
6.) I can never seem to concentrate when I have to study.
7.) I give up on drawings that remind me of people I want to forget, or events I want to forget.
8.) I'm addicted to writing little notes on post-its or index cards.
9.) I sometimes cannot shake the feeling that people don't know me, no matter how close they are to me.
10.) FINALE: I would give (almost) anything to be able to relive 2008, and correct some mistakes I made.
10 People That I Tagged:
1.) kenshion07
2.)dunnowhyImhere
3.)xXGuitaristxDaisukeXx
4.)J_e_n_0_v_a
5.)albelxfayt
6.)dagontamer08
7.)surfangel2407
8.)animaeariesgirl
9.)doomstar16
10.)Twilight_Memoirs | | |
|
