Currently Listening The Execution of All Things By Rilo Kiley see related

run-on sentences for the night

My mother hands me a selendang, our heads are draped, I'm in white, she's in black, my father has the engine on, three are in the car, it's a quiet ride, "people are asking how they can help", "tell them to come to the house", it's still a quiet ride, we are at the house, my mother enters first, it's drizzling outside, Nana has her back against us, I walk closer, my father hugs her, I do the same after, tears roll, lips fold, she repeats a familiar forecast, "Mama said he wouldn't live long if she wasn't around", hands clutch, heads fall, "yes she did", a woman in yellow arranges the morning to come, ten is the hoped hour for the burial, I sit with my mother.

My mother hands me a yasin, we whisper at our own paces, "bismillah", "al-fatihah", "yaaa-siiin", more people arrive, most are recognizable, I continue to deliver words in Arabic, until I have completed, my book is closed, and I adjurn to the next room, it's a gloomy atmosphere, there is a small dining table, and a couch, I seat myself on the cold marble steps, next to my mother again, "what more could possibly happen?", it's still a gloomy atmosphere, I watch my mother compose a text message in tension, a woman, I'm not sure who, tells my mother to hold on, because there is a proposal, my mother gets to her feet, I sit alone.

My mother hands me her reading glasses and her phone, before sitting down with Nana, they talk softly, but I can hear, "are you sure about this?", I hear worries, I hear obstacles-to-come, I hear afflictions, all things a girl her age shouldn't have to encounter, it's an anguished state, my mother is on the phone, later calling a relative in Switzerland, and another in Norway, who are both catching the next flight, to get here, where we lost a loved one two months ago, who fell terribly ill, two months before that month, and here, we have lost another loved one, it's still an anguished state, there is a heartache, that has interrupted the healing of our prior heartache, we wait awhile, anticipating a glow in all this dimness, I sit with my father.

Currently Listening The Best Of By The Cardigans see related

i love my sober boyfriend

The family had a small BBQ party at Surian, for my cousin who turned 9. Ims carried around a pen that was disguised as a cigar but she failed to con anyone. It drizzled a bit while we were having lunch so 6 cousins huddled under one umbrella and continued eating. When the sky was clear again, gluttony and laziness (I can't decide which) held us back under that umbrella, so no one responded to my "shall we spread out again?". After that, Umar had a mini treasure hunt for the 5 teenage girls, who ended up behaving like 5 children. We soon learnt that Ims is shit at treasure hunts since she lost during the first round. I have a feeling it was cause she stopped for a breather while mispronouncing "gatekeeper" as "gatenipper" -leaving her temporarily puzzled and behind everyone else.

I really do love my family. Btw first polaroid depicts LJ's lack of cycling abilities and here's a hint: all I want for my birthday are boxes and boxes of polaroid film.

Currently Listening Ashes By Embrace see related

i hate my drunk boyfriend

NICKDICK'S SURPRISE FOR TENGHOLE'S 19TH.
  
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
 
 
 
  
 
 
 

Currently Listening Edge of the Ocean By Ivy see related

tagged by iqah

(taken with Harith's Nikon F55 somewhere in March, my first and shit attempt with an analogue)

7 Raw Facts About Me:
1. I am an indie kid.
2. I have enough baju kurungs to last me a month and enough saris to last me another month.
3. I'm racist to Asian-mixed-white kids even if it contradicts my being.
4. I'm 3kgs heavier than my boyfriend :(
5. I wear socks when I'm going to bed.
6. I wear two anklets and a necklace at all times.
7. I despise sympathy and I can't take compliments for shit.

7 Things That Scare Me:
1. Cicaks.
2. IB deadlines and exams that are drawing nearer and nearer.
3. Uni apps and offers. 
4. My dad getting cheated.
5. Master. I also sure as hell hope that he never finds out about me referring to him as a "thing".
6. When the Polaroid Corporation withdraws from instant film products completely. Save polaroid!
7. Being in a room fulla people who can only kecek Kelateh, omg there goes my inferiority complex.

7 Current Songs:
1. Edge of the Ocean by Ivy.
2. Pictures by Sia.
3. Midnight Coward by Stars.
4. Better by Regina Spektor.
5. Love Is a Losing Game by Amy Winehouse.
6. Ying's ringtone, which is the cheap version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
7. "Get up stand up put your hands up" but it has to be while Sham does the snail dance.

7 Things I Say Frequently:
1. "The fuck."
2. "Moron."
3. "What a shitbag/ shithole."
4. "I wanna berak." (only when necessary la)
5. "Why that Danny!"
6. "Eh guyyys eh guyyys."
7. "Eh guy." (when only one person is present, this applies to girls too)

7 Most Valuable and Sentimental Things To Me:
1. Cuddles, the rotten and botak bear.
2. My cameras.
3. Photos and videos that help illustrate what went on in this semi-essential existence of mine.
4. The people who have instilled a part of them in me.
5. The IBDP folder in this laptop, but only till Nov.
6. My wallet although I have this bad habit of leaving it at home.
7. Harith's watch.

7 Firsts In My Life:
1. I got my first camera when I turned 9, a polaroid.
2. My first favourite song was One Sweet Day.
3. Cause of that song and Boyz II Men, it was the first time I saw black people. I was 5 and I thought their skin colour was the most beautiful.
4. My first flight/ holiday/ roaming around a completely unfamiliar place without any adult supervision was Singapore with Gan and Ju. I was 14 and felt like a fucking cool dude.
5. Stirring Odissi 2008 definitely brought alot of tough tasks that were firsts for me.
6. I have a feeling my first son will be named after one of my favourite bands haha.
7. Well, my first pokemon was a Charmander.

Currently Listening Dreams By Evermore see related

in my bedroom, after the war

Hello, Sunday -the sunset has signified the termination of another difficult week, one that brought me to the brink of my physical and emotional exhaustion.

Aunty Budi passed away at 5am on Wednesday and it's been hard for all of us. For me, the hardest was reaching out to my mother, the mourner in hiding. Second was composing consolation to Nana because I don't simply offer solace. I believe in being real. I hate that people always give out merciful "everything's going to be alright" when it's not. When the hell is losing someone close to the heart alright? I wish people would get it right, it's not a matter of giving sympathy. It's a matter of giving strength and time for a person to come to an acceptance. It's going to take a while for me and everyone else but rest in peace, Budi Kartini, you are deeply missed.