uggghhhhh.

I'm in SERIOUS  pain right now...

But that doesn't even compare to earlier this morning around 5 am when I woke up.

I felt like soemone was trying to KILL me

I through up sumthing I didn't even know I ate yucccck.

but after my two-hour agonizing pain journey and puking I feel much better

Still in bad pain but at least I don't think my stomach is trying to kill me!!

Anywho here is what I'll be up to in the coming months:

Tomorrow I'm looking into Columbia College.

My mom's freidn went there and said that they have an AWESOME film program which is something I'm definately interested in.

Also, I applied for a job at Hollister at Woodfield Mall. I interviewed but I didn't get the job =/

It's hard for me to be TOO upset bcuz I don't think my mind is really mentally stable for a job at this moment neway.

I'm still at the point where I feel the whole world is against me and that there is no hope.

However, I can say I'm not as "down" as I use to be. Now, I'm just very frustrated mostly.

On the brighter note, I'm going to get professional help for that soon.

I know 2008 is going to be the best year EVERRR.

I can feel it.

Even though I don't turn 18 til August, I know this year I'll finally be legal.

whoot!

Currently Listening The Very Best of Disney Channel By Various Artists Hannah Montana - The Other Side of Me (Remix) see related

oooohh

Mr. Belding?? O_O, ok....

I love her =]

Currently Listening Insomniatic By Aly & AJ Division see related

I chose to surrender the best thing that's happen to me.

What was I missing?

Was I just trippin'?

Running away from my fear was the best I could do...

I made this decision.

I chose this Division.

& I have ALL regrets...

Hope u wish me the very best...

In all that I do...

Congratulations!!

Now I am free.

I have earned my degree.

Yeah I've graduated.

This is my LAST seperation from you...

There'll be no more

TRYING AGAIN.

No More.

Forgiving me..

NO MORE.

thinking that somehow the sum will be different...

by using...

Division.

I'm gonna MISS you bad...

So funny I had to laugh...

I did this to me.

Yeah I DID.

Currently Listening A Disney Channel Holiday By Various Artists Greatest Time of Year - Aly & AJ see related

like I didn't know this 

xoxo mia

Currently Listening Undiscovered By James Morrison You Give Me Something see related

I don't understand.

Nothing makes sense.

Is this the life I'm suppsoe to have?

Does the Universe hate me?

No.

That Can't be true.

Sure, my life so far hasn't been great...

hardly.

But life is what you make it right?

Of course, what else would it be...

The last two years.

yes, the last two years of my life.

Was a dream.

I was away from my body.

I couldn't feel, I wasn't.

I have just woken up,

ready to live.

laugh.

love.

Yet, I feel as though I am starting all over.

IF the last two years didn't happen then I'd be a sophmore.

Ha Ha, if only I could go back in time.

to that place...

then everything would be perfect.

I would have what I always wanted...

The friends, the lifestyle, the ways.

The heart, the fun, and excitement.

It would ALL be mine

& I'd be happy, oh so happy.

right?

who's to know...

Seeing as as how time travel is inconcievable.

I want my two years back.

I am not 15, I am 17.

Give them back to me damnit!!

I didn't ask to feel as though life was dead,

and the only way out was death.

Did I?

I didn't ask to cry tears of pain and hurt every night.

I didn't want to abandon those who cared for me,

and loved me.

I didn't ask to die on the inside.

But yet that is what happened.

So here I am.

Back at square one,

ready to start all over again.

Ready to forget the past.

Ready to move forward.

Ready to fall hard,

into the depths of life.