Where would I be without my boyfriend? He makes me happy. Looking at him lets me know that there is a reason why my life matters. Everyone's life matters. No one deserves death. Everyone will die eventually but I don't understand why a human being can bring himself to kill someone.

     The older I get the more difficult things are for me. So much is expected of me. I have to be smart. I have no choice. If I'm not, there are major consequences. The American culture of discipline is very different from the dicipline of lets just say "asia". Things are a lot different over here for my parents. There are certain things that they should let change but I think them being very strict on me should be kept. Sometimes I feel like I can't do much anymore. My confidence is going up and down. It's torture. Well back to homework.

     I broke down in class yesterday. All the "dramatic" stuff had gotten to me and I couldn't take it anymore so I lost it and cried my eyes out. Chelsey and Tori comforted me. =) I love those girls. After school my love drove me home. Actually we went to his house first and then he drove me home. He was suppose to give me a tour of the whole house but I just got to see his room. It was messy. x_x haha. Well I gotta go.

Bleh

     Lately I've been a weird person. I haven't been myself. I've been more moody and more lets just say.. envious. My mind keeps lingering in the past and its hard to allow myself to concentrate in the present and be happy with where I am. Things aren't the way they use to be. I feel myself falling downward and never actually getting back up. If we all studied when we are bored and had nothing better to do we would be geniuses. I tried it and actually sorta bleh. My mind is always wanting to do other things. Well there are just thoughts I wanted to jot down.